Move on, nothing to see here. The backpack outside Harpo Productions’s (Yep, Oprah’s joint) which was believed to have wires hanging out of it, raised enough alarm bells for the Chicago Bomb and Arson Unit to investigate. But it was soon determined that the suspicious backpack, which was found in the flowerbed, turned out to be just a suspicious backpack in the flowerbed. It’s the weekend people, slow news day!
Monthly Archives: July 2009
Feet Up Everyone

OK, no need to panic but can you lift your feet nice and slow!
Hands up, who brought the friggin croc onboard? A baby crocodile has scared the living crap out of passengers on an EgyptAir flight from Abu Dhabi to Cairo when it suddenly appeared out of nowhere mid flight. The cocky little reptile leisurely strolled down the aisle while hysterical passengers promptly lifted their feet up and screamed. He was eventually cornered and captured by crew members. He is now holidaying at the Giza Zoo.
Psst Of course no one on the flight has admitted to bringing the creature onboard. Hmm,I wonder whose pant leg he had been strapped to? Check for scratches!
Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!
Hey, Yeah You!
Someone found the Friggin Loon by searching “Loon Defecate”.Now that isn’t very nice. Sure you find a bit of shit but please, I don’t defecate that often!
Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never
Go To Jail

Only if you ask nicely!
Oh for goodness sakes. A 54 year old man Michigan man was so pissed that his friend wouldn’t sell him Park Place and Boardwalk during a game of monopoly, he hit her in the face and smashed her glasses.That is definitely a go directly to jail card right there!
Well Hello Mr Two Face
This is the way weirdest story to come out of Detroit, in like, hours. Mr Burwell seemed like a nice enough guy (sure, don’t they all). The bespectacled white mechanic from Ohio ran a repair shop and was often seen driving black children to church in his bus (ah huh). He even ran a jobs program for ex crims which was funded by the civil rights groups (hmm). He was loved by all including Catholics, Jews and African Americans (now I am worried).Damn, he even gave to the Detroit Black Panther Party (oook). So what’s a man that seems like “Mr Color Blind” doing with friggin Ku Klux Klan robes in his garage (WTF)? Not only that but he was a high ranking member to boot.Well hello Mr secretary for Unit No. 1 of the local National Knights of the KKK chapter ( can that fit on a name badge?). Talk about finger in each pie. Even his wife hadn’t a clue about her hubby’s little secret (well, that ain’t no surprise). Funny enough Mr Burwell’s secret stayed hidden for years in the loft of his gargage until the new owner decided to have a clean up. There he found, ironically in a box containing photocopies of checks he had sent to help improve race relations, evidence of his KKK days.You can read the whole story at Detroit News. I would like to think Jim Burwell was an informant for police and not a “real” member of the KKK. Sheez, this coming from someone who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy!
Psst I don’t think Hallmark will be making this story anytime soon.
Brother, Can You Spare a Dollar?

How am I gonna get my ciggies now?
OK people, lets put our heads together and think of a way to stop beggars. Oooh, oooh I’ve got it, lets fine the buggers. Great idea, all in favor say “I”. The Alice Springs Town Council are currently looking at adding a few new by-laws, one of which allows council rangers to fine people $130 if they are caught begging . It’s brilliant.Nothing like making the poor, poorer. Oooh and if you thought that was a bit rough, they are also looking into banning camping on the dry Todd River bed, where many of the homeless sleep at night.Bravo. And if the council then uses the money to build shelters, then the homeless, have in theory, paid for their own homes! Ingenious.
Psst Do you think there is an underlying problem here they don’t want to confront?
Mystery Mouse

Whew, I couldn't hold on much longer!
Oh dear god, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration are investigating claims a dead mouse was found in a can of Diet Pepsi. A guaranteed way to lose weight I say.Fred Denegri knew something was up when he thought his Diet Pepsi tasted weird. After pouring the contents out he discovered to his horror that his drink also contained the body of a mouse. Well, any consolation, at least it was dead! A spokesman for Pepsi said “It is virtually impossible for this type of thing to happen in a production environment,”. Seems unless it was speedy Gonzales there was no way in hell a rodent could get into their 1,250 cans a minute manufacturing process. It’s a job for David Copperfield.
Filed under Friggin Gross, Join the skeptic club!, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!