Oprah Nearly Had a Blast

Move on, nothing to see here. The backpack outside Harpo Productions’s (Yep, Oprah’s joint) which was believed to have wires hanging out of it, raised enough alarm bells for the Chicago Bomb and Arson Unit to investigate. But it was soon determined that the suspicious backpack, which was found in the flowerbed, turned out to be just a suspicious backpack in the flowerbed. It’s the weekend people, slow news day!

Feet Up Everyone

OK, no need to panic but can you lift your feet nice and slow!

Hands up, who brought the friggin croc onboard? A baby crocodile has scared the living  crap out of passengers on an EgyptAir flight from Abu Dhabi to Cairo when it suddenly appeared out of nowhere mid flight. The cocky little reptile leisurely strolled down the aisle while hysterical passengers promptly lifted their feet up and screamed. He was eventually cornered and captured by crew members. He is now holidaying at the Giza Zoo.

Psst Of course no one on the flight has admitted to bringing the creature onboard. Hmm,I wonder whose pant leg he had been strapped to? Check for scratches!

Hey, Yeah You!

Someone found the Friggin Loon by searching “Loon Defecate”.Now that isn’t very nice. Sure you find a bit of shit but please, I don’t defecate that often!

Go To Jail

Only if you ask nicely!

Oh for goodness sakes. A 54 year old man Michigan man was so pissed that his friend wouldn’t sell him Park Place and Boardwalk during a game of monopoly, he hit her in the face and smashed her glasses.That is definitely a go directly to jail card right there!

Whoopsie Daisy

Dude!

OK, no laughing people, it could have really hurt. Police Officer Ryan Venno was perched on the Snow Road bridge in Berrien Springs, revenue hunting working a speed trap, when he kinda fell off and landed slap, bang , near US 31 Bypass. Evidently Venno had found a you beaut spot on the ledge of the bridge in which to use his radar gun (oh and where cars couldn’t see him). Hmm but while maneuvering himself into a comfy position he fell, bounced off another ledge before falling another 23ft. As no other officer noticed his plunge, Venno had to call it in to Berrien County dispatch (embarrassing). Officer Venno is now nursing a fractured leg. Hmm, no word on if there was any damage to the speed gun!

Psst To all the eBayers or souvenir hunters, evidently remains of Venno’s pant leg and sock are still under the bridge unclaimed.

What The, Where Did It Go?

I was sure I put them on?

Ladies if your spouse decides to give you a saucy little bikini, I would be very weary if I were you. A German company have just developed a dissolveable bikini that disappears the moment you get into the water. Hmm, the Get Naked bikini has set some of the women’s rights campaigners right off, with one angrily declaring “It is an absolute insult to women that this has been invented.” Oh OK,  I get why they are pissed, it is selling like hotcakes on the German REVENGE website. But ladies, you can get them for men too! Hmm, but here’s hoping it only comes in small sizes because otherwise it could get downright ugly. Oh and don’t be slipping one of those under the tree for granny! Want one? Sure you do, try here Revengeshop.

Generation WTF

Welcome to the next generation.

Holy Hogwart Batman, a mother from Leeds who had asked a group of teenagers to shut up during the screening of Potter And The Half-Blood Prince  has had bleach poured all over her . The group of teenagers obviously took offence because after the family left the cinema the youths hurled abuse at them as they walked over to the Frankie & Benny’s restaurant. A few minutes later two of the low lifes allegedly entered the restaurant and threw bleach over the unsuspecting mother as her family looked on in horror. It still isn’t know whether there will be permanent damage to her eyes. Hey Civil libertarians, is this the end result of not allowing parents to discipline their children or to take responsibilities for their own actions? Nice isn’t it?