No Fairy Tale In This Town

Are you looking at me?

Are you talking at me?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Well not if you live in Mountain Park, Georgia.They have just removed old Romeo and his siblings, because of their bad attitude. How quickly was their fall from grace? OK, sit back and I will tell you the sad tale of Romeo and Juliet. A few years back the town welcomed Romeo and Juliet, two beautiful white swans. The townsfolk were so enamoured by the pair they were soon declared the town’s mascots. Then one night, as everyone was tucked away in bed, a coyote came a calling and ate poor Juliet. Romeo and the townsfolk mourned. A replacement Juliet was found and life once again was good. But like a curse , this Juliet was also met with foul play (OK, an infection from a fish hook). Enter Viola, not as catchy a name, but at least she was curseless. Now Romeo and Viola, hit it off big time. In fact Romeo became so smitten with his latest bird, he attacked anyone who so much as thought of giving her bread. It soon came apparent to the towns folk that the playground had been claimed by the young lovers.Romeo and his missus took great delight in tormenting the little kiddies and especially in chasing them off the swing sets when no one was looking (who am I kidding, they didn’t care who was looking!). When Viola became a parent for the first time the town rejoiced, now the playground would be set free. But alas  Romeo and Viola weren’t good parents, in fact they were damn abusive. Children ran screaming from the park as the two delighted in attacking their own little signets. Romeo then took his frustrations out on wood ducklings, going out on murderous sprees.  Action had to be taken and taken fast to save the babies and the town. With heavy hearts the towns folk rounded up  the signets , took them somewhere safe and then sold them all. As for Romeo and Viola, they had their sorry asses hauled out of town and placed on a lake far, far away. And the mascotless town lived happily every after. The end.


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, Thanks For Nothing

6 responses to “No Fairy Tale In This Town

  1. Ann

    I love this story I wish Tillie could have seen them she loves swans but Black ones. Beautifully written too Loon. I was really enjoying this

  2. jammer5

    I lived at an apartment complex that had year-round geese. They had a regular schedule where they would go from apartment to apartment to get fed. Heaven help the people that missed a regular feeding. Radical honking until it was time for the next place.

    I lived on the third floor, with a back porch off the living room. I used to wrap some bread around a lead weight attached to some fishing line, and cast it out into the yard. I’d drag it back as the geese tried to grab it. Mean old me, huh?

    I always wondered what would happen if I used a fish hook, attached some food, and let em eat it. Would I be able to fly em around like a kite? Just wonderin’.

    • We lived next to a school. One day the headmaster knocked on our door and asked us if our dog had been stealing the children’s lunches. We knew our lawn was often covered in lunchbox remains but we kept quiet and put our dog on his leash for the next few weeks. Next thing another knock at the door with a not so happy headmaster. This time, before he opened his mouth, my parents said, it couldn’t be our dog he’s been tied up. The headmaster shook his head and said “nope not your dog, your friggin geese.” He said if he hadn’t witnessed it he wouldn’t believe it. They went from bag to bag using their beaks to unzip each bag and steal sandwiches.
      Sequel to the story: A few weeks after the incident, when we had the geese locked up, a little kid appeared at our door. In his hand he had a note written by his mother. It explained he had befriended the geese at school and was very upset when they no longer visited. It kindly asked if we weren’t attached to them would it be possible if he could take them home as his pets. My parents couldn’t very well say no, the boy was virtually in tears. We all thought this should be a hoot because the geese were damn feral. We took him to their pen and as the gate was opened he called them and the two waddled over to him. The last image we saw was this little kid walking down the road with the two geese following closely behind him. We never saw him or the geese ever again!

      • Ann

        How cool was that? If only life was still like that today I don’t want to sound like a cave dweller but life was so much simpler even 20-25 years ago. Where the hell did it all go so horrible wrong? K.I.S – way to go.

      • I lived on 2 acres in the hills and our house was high on a hill. I played in a creek well into my teens and had not a worry in the world until I traveled to countries with some of the worse poverty in the world. I have been cynical of life ever since.

  3. Ann

    We have kookaburras like that here. They tap on the window at meal times. I love them and collect kookaburra photos. It has the most unique laugh unlike any other bird in the world.

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