Plane Angry Granny

A plane continues to fly too low near your house, what do you do? Grab your friggin .22 caliber gun, wander onto the runway and shoot at it, of course! Judy Davis (69) of Fulton is in deep doodah after she was arrested following an incident at a local airport. She is alleged to have shot at an aircraft as it was coming into land because she was so pissed off at it repeatedly buzzing her home.

Exploding OJ

OK people here’s the thing, evidently fermented orange juice can explode (who knew?). Ming Fu Hu, a Chinese immigrant, who owns a drink bar in New Zealand, is suing Coca-Cola after a bottle of Keri orange juice exploded and hit him in the eye, causing permanent damage.Coca Cola admitted the 2.4 litre bottle exploded but lawyers for the company say they have no liability because it had fermented (despite it still being within it’s used by date). As a nice old peace offering Coca Cola sent Mr Hu a case of Keri juice and a grocery voucher worth $200.Enter race card.Hmm, Mr Hu’s lawyer said “My client is a Chinese immigrant and if the same thing happened to a Kiwi in China we would expect the Chinese company to step up to the plate, admit its mistake and help make the victim whole again.” (really?).  Oh dear, I don’t think this will be going away in a hurry.

IKEA, Please Get Rid of Verdana

WTF, is nothing sacred?

The public want what the public wants. When Ikea decided to change their font from Futura to Verdana on the world’s most printed book, the Ikea Catalogue, the company faced a backlash like nothing the world has ever seen (unless you include Prince’s symbol phase!). Not in the company’s 50 year has there ever been a font change until now  and to say the public are pissed off would be to say the least. Twitter, Facebook and blogs are screaming outrage at Ikea’s apparent “cost efficient” font strategy. One petition has already collected 3,000 signatures condemning the decision. Hmm and never in the history of the Verdana font has there been such a backlash either. Times New Roman and Arial are just glad they were overlooked!

Psst Verdana was created by Microsoft so as to be readable at small sizes on a computer screens.

2nd Psst Futura was used on the commemorative plaque left on the moon by Apollo 11 astronauts in July 1969 (so they say!)

X Rated Factor!

It is either a sock or singing isn’t Steve’s best asset. Poor Steve had a little issue when he auditioned for X Factor. Hmm, seems there was a party going on in his pants. The sight of poor Steve’s bulge sent the audience into fits of laughter and the judges into opened eyed shock. Before Bearman bursts our collective bubble with shrieks of fake.. check it out (before Youtube block it).

Useless Friggin Information

OK Loons, as it is a slow news day  I thought a dollop of useless information would warm the cockles.

Butterflies taste with their feet.(So should some chefs!)

Over 2,500 left handed people are killed each year from using right handed products. (Hmm, I wonder how many right handed people are killed using left handed products?)

Hot water is heavier than cold water. (I’m guessing only if you wee in it!)

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet (ewh, that will explain it!)

Grapes explode when heated in a microwave. (so do poodles!)

The Spanish equivilent to UFO is OVNI …Objecto Volador No Identificado. (Hmm, in Loon Land is is simply WTF!).

The IRS has a manual for collecting taxes after a nuclear war. (Those bastards!).

A spotted skunk does a handstand before spraying! (So do I….kidding…way too hard).

Hmm, seems I have some skeptics amongst the loons, so without further ado here is the friggin spotted handstanding skunk!

Going Down!

One very good reason why you should never ever skydive. Bad enough both your chutes fail to open but landing on an air hangar to break your fall…sheez! Paul Lewis is one lucky dude after he free fell from 10,000 ft straight onto a roof (poor bastard).

Psst Hmm, I bet that made one hell of a wollop when he hit!

Honey, Why Is The Dog Stuck To The Fridge?

Polly the blue heeler has a liking for magnets it seems. The partial blind and arthritic Polly was left alone in her owner’s printing business for just a short time when she discovered a box of stick magnets and decided to chew on a few. When Cathy James returned she found a couple still in her mouth but was unaware how many were still in Polly’s tummy. By the following day poor Polly was as sick as a dog and Ms James rushed her to the vet who  performed emergency surgery. During the operation the vet discovered around a thousand magnets (about a kilo) in her stomach. Oh and people don’t be thinking this is the first time Polly has munched on something unusual. In the past 3 years Polly has eaten a computer mouse, gardening gloves, copious amounts of fax paper and gravel.All in all the pooch has cost Ms James $7000 worth of vet bills. Wanna adopt a dog from the RSPCA too? Come on life will never be boring again.

Psst RSPCA  is the Friggin Loon’s charity of choice! All creatures great and small people!

Don’t Forget Your Digital Assets In Death

I bequeath all my Halo 3 and Second Life accounts to....

OK people lets get a little down and morbid here. Next time you’re drafting your will or simply adding or subtracting relis from it, don’t forget about all your digital assets like facebook, blogs, eBay and even Paypal accounts. Some times these assets can be just as valuable as the physical crap you leave behind. So if you don’t want your blog or your Internet accounts to get into the wrong hands I suggest you clearly include those assets in your will. Oh and don’t forget to include your passwords and user names (unless of course you want to be remembered as a complete bitch or bastard!). Anywho the reason I am mentioning this is because a new company called Legacy Locker is offering a digital management service for Internet users to store online account information and other data for survivors and beneficiaries.For a small annual fee you can have piece of mind that if you happen to be struck by lightning while on your computer your assets won’t die in a big ball of flames. Have a nice day!

Psst Wakie Wakie!

I'm cleaning up just in case the police break in again!

Oh dear god, police in Liverpool are trying a new strategy to help remind people to lock up at night…. by breaking into their houses! Yes, officers are sneaking around at night checking residents’ front and back doors, then waking up the occupants if they manage to get in. Geez, you couldn’t do that in the US, people would shoot the shit out of you! So far the initiative has successfully opened 66 doors and scared the living daylights out of half of them.

A Very Creepy Christmas Commercial

WTF, who would have thought to star Freddy Krueger, Chucky, Hannibal Lector, Darth Vader and the Jason (hockey mask dude) in a Christmas ad. This is a seriously down right creepy commercial people! But it kind of leaves the warm and fuzzies in the pit of your stomach! They are messing with us, big time!