Monthly Archives: September 2009

Ah Shit

Thieves run off with diaper bagAnd the dumbass award of the week goes to the three would-be muggers who approached a woman and her toddler in a car park, pulled a gun and pepper sprayed her before taking off with her bag. Yeah the diaper bag. Un friggin lucky! Should be a nice little deposit or two in there!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser

Tastes Like Chicken

Woman eats partners pet goldfishOMG how gross. A woman who became so pissed off with her partner during a domestic, she fried up his pet goldfish and ate them, well, three of them. Despite what could only have been a painful demise for the helpless creatures the Pasadena police said they weren’t going to lay charges.

Psst Dear god I hope they didn’t have names!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Sore Loser

Oh Don’t Mind Them, Plant A Few Trees!

When Geering & Colyer Estate Agents listed a quaint little 1930’s fisherman’s cottage for sale in Dungeness they were inundated with interest. Hmm, but real estate agents, just like used car salesmen, have the knack for telling little porkies and this one was exceptional. The quaint little 1930’s cottage sounded absolutely fab in the real estate advertisement but when prospective buyers came a looking, they were shocked to discovered it was overshadowed by the enormous Dungeness A and Dungeness B nuclear power stations. Whoopsie, did I forget to mention that, my bad? One peeved buyer said “These power stations are literally at your front door – there is no escaping them, they are gargantuan.”
The Estate Agents defended their obvious omission by saying the power stations are just part of Dungeness.

Psst Look on the bright side you wont need to use the lights at night, ever!!!! Here is the blessed little cottage in question!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

iSnack 2.0 is History

After a backlash from hell, Kraft have decided that it just isn’t worth trying to convince Aussies iSnack 2.0 was a great name for the black yeast extract that was previously known as Vegemite. Hmm, guess it’s back to the drawing board boys.Kraft have announced iSnack2.0 is toast. Despite Kraft already selling 3 million jars of the new creamier version, the name has created such a stir, they have decided to go back to the 48,000 name suggestions and pick a friggin better one!

Psst Anywho, since when has Vegemite been considered a “snack”?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Dumbass Burglars

This morning as I trolled through one of my favorite blogs, The Mad Hatters (waiting for them to wake the friggin hell up), I noticed one of my other favorite bloggers, Two Yorks and a Bean had  posted  one of the funniest failed burglar attempts I have seen. So funny it was, I thought I would share with the loons who don’t get out much! No, no, trust me people, you will laugh! Major dumbasses!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Robber With Low Tolerance To Nagging!

Yeah, run home mamma's boy, friggin wimp!

Yeah, run home mamma's boy, friggin wimp!

It really wasn’t Takashi Owata’s day when he decided to rob the Sunkus convenience store in Fukushima. Hmm, not when a 59 year old female was working there anyways. No one was going to do no robbing on her shift. When Owata demanded money the woman hurled abuse at him, screaming “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Despite Owata wielding a stick at the now angry woman, she continued to verbally abuse him, so much so, he eventually  left, pulled out his cell phone, rang the police and confessed to trying to rob the store. He then walked 400m to the police station and handed himself in. Ah, the old “mamma knows best”,  guilt trip works every time! Even Dr Phil would whip your butt for not sticking up for yourself…wimp!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Hi Ho, Hi Ho It’s Off To Work We Go!

So who's laughing at us  now ?

So who's laughing at us now ?

OMG. No really, OMG. A  group of pissed off Chinese dwarves, who had it up to here (or a little bit lower) with being bullied and discriminated against by the non vertically challenged, have turned themselves into a tourist attraction. No I swear, it’s true. The 120 residents of a private mountain commune in Kunming, who banned anyone over 4ft 3 ” from entering, have had a change of heart.They have turned their village into a friggin theme park, which includes mushroom houses and the little people dressed up like fairies. Hmm, nothing like perpetuating the myth. Good luck with that!

Psst I know where you can get a nice log cabin on wheels!

2nd Psst Wanna see them? Check out the photo at The Sun.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !