OK, here’s the thing two dudes from Knoxville who put lamp oil in a saucepan and lit it during a power outage, WTF were you thinking. Both sustained burns and smoke inhalation after lighting the pan and it flashed over, burning them and the apartment! Woof! It is believed the men were trying to find an alternative source of light after the power went out.Yeah, well in some ways they got their wish! Now three other tenants have been displaced and 7 units water damaged. They are going to be hell popular when they return!
Monthly Archives: November 2009
The Things Momma Didn’t Tell Ya
Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Scary, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!
Don’t Move
Ah shit!
You know what I hate? When you visit your son on Long Island for Thanksgiving and you fall neck deep into a friggin cesspool.I really hate that. Eduardo Matos (71) fell into the sewage while walking outside on the lawn. Mr Matos said “I was calm . . . If you panic, that shit will suck you right in,”. No shit! He was eventually rescued by his son and daughter. So much for Thanksgiving!
They Shot Jesus!
Rockville police had no choice but to shoot and kill Jesus on Sunday after he viciously attacked a man. Police tried to taser him first but he justed didn’t respond. Jesus was a 120lb Rottweiler/Pit Bull dog.
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!
Happy Thanksgiving Granny!
Here, catch!
You soon find out who your friends are on Thanksgiving. A woman caused utter chaos after she took her unwanted Thanksgiving present to the Dennis Police Department. Roads were closed, the local fire department alerted and the state bomb squad called in when she whipped out a World War II hand grenade one of her relis gave her. Ninety minutes later it was confirmed it didn’t have a blasting cap so couldn’t explode. I guess their inheritance will have to wait!
Santa or Christkind
Ho friggin no!
OK, Santa or Christkind, which one would you prefer as the official symbol of Christmas? One is a big fat jolly snow haired man bearing a big bag of goodies invented by Coca Cola the other, a tiny blond haired baby who brings a candle lit tree and gifts to little snowflakes on Christmas eve with a non commercialized traditional type attitude.This is the big dilemma facing Austrians this Christmas, as a group of campaigners named The Pro-Christkind group make a concerted effort to rid Santa from Austria for good. The group are planning rallies in Graz, Innsbruck, Salzburg and Vienna. Good luck with that!
Psst Christkind just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Hmm, maybe if they changed the name?
Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never
Ten Pin Bowling Is An Extreme Sport in The UK
A friggin death trap!
OMG,after 2 years and £250,000 spent on a study by Health and Safety (HSE) they have concluded that ten pin bowling alleys are a very friggin dangerous environment for families! Dear god imagine, little snowflakes running down the lanes and getting trapped in machinery or someone walking down the 60 ft lanes to knock over the pins by hand and getting injured. Geez, it’s a friggin death trap when you think about it, a friggin death trap! Among the recommendations put forward, was for operators to fit photoelectric beams on the lanes so the machines will cut off automatically if anyone, by chance, wanders down the slippery as all get up lanes. Once again I must stop here to point out there is no need for concern, natural selection will sort out the losers.
Psst I did note there was no mention of the obvious dangers, eg spraining a wrist, hurting your back, slipping on the spilled beer, salmonella from the curly fries…you know, the basic dangers!
2nd Psst When was the last time you heard about someone being squashed by the pinsetting machinery for goodness sakes?
