Four Police Officers Killed While Having Coffee

Four police officers were sipping their coffee and working on their laptops in Tacoma, prior to the start of their shift, when a gunmen walked into the Forza coffee shop and opened fire, shooting them all dead. The three men and one woman were in full uniform, including bulletproof vests when they were fired at. It is believed to be a deliberate hit as the gunman specifically targeted the cops. Authorities are hoping it wasn’t gang initiation crime!

Where Are You Old Fart?

Oh dear god, can you believe the shock horror I got when I went to plant a sarcastic comment on one of my Loon Regulars blogs and got this?

Blogger goes AWOL. Does anyone know what happened to Old Fart Tony aka Flat Tony. Was it something I we said? How could you do this to us, deleted as though you never existed without so much as a word of warning. It’s like losing a family member or going schizo. All I have left to remind me of your existence is this gravatar! Damn and there goes a friggin link!

Psst You didn’t call someone a skank did you?

Japanese Jackass

OMG, a Japanese game show set in a library. How bad could it be? Nasty in silence.

Something to Tell the Grandkids

Nicole M. Smith was allegedly drunk as, when she cleaned up three parked cars (a Honda, a Saturn and a Ford Ranger) with her Dodge Durango in Iowa. An eye witness said they saw the woman try to get the Dodge into gear before stepping out of the vehicle completely naked! By the time police had arrived someone had found Ms Smith a robe.

Vanuatu’s Prime Minister Ousted After Staff Blunder

It was on my things to do list!

WTF, you forgot to send a absentee note…three times, Damn! Vanuatu’s prime minister has been ousted after his staffers made a paperwork blunder! Now ex Prime Minister Edward Natapei has been forced to forfeit his seat after he missed three consecutive sittings without friggin telling the speaker. Hmm, seems three strikes you’re out and so to your seat. Mr Natapei was at a Commonwealth summit in Trinidad and Tobago when he heard the news.What makes it such a bitch is all his staff had to do was hand in a signed friggin explanation for his absence. The country now has a caretaker government until parliament can find a new prime minister with a more competent staff.

Psst I guess a Chrissy bonus is out of the question!

Best Secretary Ever!

Thumbs up to Claudia De La Rosa, the Florida secretary who rang the Miami International Airport to call in a bomb threat so her late running boss wouldn’t miss his flight.

Man vs Toddler

Now this is what I am talking about! Generation Y at it’s very best!

Low Friggin Door Handles

Late breaking Nanny State news, low door handles in British schools could be a safety issue. Everybody panic! Britain’s Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills are seriously concerned about the dangers low door handles present. God forbid a little snowflake is able to reach the handle and make a run for it. Security risk people, security risk! Hmm and pray tell what happens if  a little four year old can’t get out of a burning building because he or she can’t reach the door handle. Ah the old damned if you do, damned if you don’t conundrum!

Psst If they only spent their time and energy focusing on educating them, natural selection will take care of the rest!

Fight Over Chunk of Rock

Fight, fight, fight. Just what the world needs, a meteorite custody battle. OK, in one corner we have disability pensioner Tom King who discovered a suspicious 25kg rock believed to be a meteorite on Rywanda Plainview, a property he was caretaking for in Cunnamulla. In the other corners we have, the owners of the property, two men who helped lift the rock onto the back of Mr King’s ute, the Queensland museum and police.  When Mr King found the “meteorite”, believed to be worth tens of thousands of dollars, he was unable to lift it onto his ute to put in his stone collection so he asked two men to give him a hand. Next thing he knows the police are at his door, he’s arrested and the friggin rock taken. Seems everyone wants to lay claim to the friggin thing. Police are now holding the chunk of shiny rock until ownership is determined. Geez, I hope it ain’t friggin kryptonite or Superman will be pissed!

Psst I wonder if aliens fight over our friggin space junk?

iToot!

Oh for goodness sakes, now I’m going to giggle and give them that knowing look every time I hear a cell phone ring!