Christmas Cracker!

At least now you know what to get him for Christmas

Bear with me people, this story is a tad complicated. Brett Aaron Sanford was arrested after he was found hiding under a mattress in the home he shares with his girlfriend and his mother (just setting the scene). Sanford is accused of a lot of things, firstly stealing a blow-up doll and then secondly for instigating a disturbance at a convenience store later in the day. In the convenience store incident he changed into a woman’s tracksuit while stealing a .22-caliber pistol (yes, see, I told you). He then went back to the Theater X Adult Super Center where he had stolen the blow-up doll and waved the gun around and behaved rather oddly. While he was making his getaway he managed to sideswipe a trailer and fled into a wooded area (geez, lucky he stole those woman’s trackie daks).That’s when police found the blow-up doll and his driver’s license. Sanford’s girlfriend was also arrested for goddam lying to police about his whereabouts. No word on whether his mom was home at the time.

15 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

15 responses to “Christmas Cracker!

  1. I followed everything but what convenience store sells guns?

  2. I have to tell you, it sounds like he was behaving oddly even before he started waving the gun around …

  3. Jeez, glad you picked this one up – I was almost at the stage of moving bits of coloured paper round my desk, trying to make some sense of the timeline of events 😳

  4. P.S. His girlfriend must be some ugly bitch if he was so keen to get hold of a blow-up doll !!!

  5. jammer5

    So, when’s this guy running for congress?

  6. I just read this while having breakfast, and I have to admit, I’m a little confused. Seriously, who steals a sex doll? Really? Unless it’s one of those creepy lifelike dolls like the one Ryan Gosling had in “Lars and the Real Girl.”

    What I really wanna know is what happened to the bear you claim was with you on the first sentence? Bears are cool. 😀

  7. He’s going to shoot his inflate-a-date’s eye out!

  8. I think I may have dated this guy…

  9. S. Le

    Happy Christmas Loon!

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