Monthly Archives: January 2010

Cookies and Cream

Those sneaky little Colombian cocaine smugglers have been at it again. This time they removed the cream from 10 packs of cookies and replaced them with compressed bleached cocaine ready to be shipped to Barcelona. Couldn’t fool the sniffer dogs though.

Psst Wouldn’t want to dunk those bickies in your coffee!

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

It Was More Effective In The Godfather

Robert Godman (61) was arrested and charged with a seriously poor attempt at reenacting the horse head scene from the Godfather (OK, harassment). Yes, Godman sent a hand delivered package containing a  horse’s head to State Senator Stephen Sweeney. Oh come on people, it wasn’t real, it was the cut off head of a plush toy. Anywho the bomb squad was called as a precaution.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

WTF, whatever you do don’t win the friggin lottery. Remains found under driveway concrete have been identified as missing lottery millionaire Abraham Shakespeare. Mr Shakespeare won the $31 million Florida lottery prize in 2006 but it ended in a bitter dispute when a fellow truck driver accused him of taking the winning ticket out of his wallet. In the end he won the court battle but continued to have trouble with people forever asking him for goddam money. His family contacted police after loosing contact with him in April 2009. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said it looks like a murder investigation because “It’s painfully obvious he didn’t get there by himself,”. Brilliant observation Sherlock.

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

At First You Don’t Succeed

I don’t know what the 47 year naked guy had taken but it took two stun gunnings before police were able to subdue him. The Fremont police were called to an apartment where the man was jumping around starkers, shouting obscenities and basically being a right twat. Eventually they  taser him after he charged them and began screaming something in Spanglish.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Deadly Fire Hose

An 82 year old Massachusetts woman Gertrude King was in the wrong place at the wrong time when a firetruck chucked a left and wiped her out with it’s fire hose. It is believed the hose had come loose and was dragging behind the engine when it whacked Ms King on the back of the legs while she waited on the median strip. Sadly she died two days later.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Whoops!

So That’s Why They Call It Skunkweed!

Serving Arizona all right!

Dude, this shit tastes like shit. I don’t know whose smart idea it was to hide 700lbs of marijuana in a septic tank but it was an epic fail. The septic truck was scooting  along a  highway in Tubac , Arizona when a cop noticed the truck had invalid license places. Goodness knows what possessed him to check the holding tank, but there he found friggin bales upon bales of weed worth about $400,000. Leonard Salcido, the truck driver is now spending his sorry assed time in the Santa Cruz County Jail thinking about where it all went wrong.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

A Pair Of Natural Disasters

What are the friggin odds? A pair of Dachshunds, Bella and Deiter, who were adopted by Paul Fowler after they were found abandoned on the streets of New Orleans after hurricane Katrina have managed to survive the earthquake of Haiti too. Mr Fowler and his wife were working for the Tufts University in Haiti when the quake rattled their world. The smart thinking pooches hid under the bed where they waited to be  rescued. The couple, who were forced to leave the luckiest dogs in the world behind,  have now been reunited ,thanks to Humane Society of the United States vets who has been dispatched to Haiti.

Psst Lets just hope they don’t move to California, because Dennis the Vizsla ain’t budging from on top of his dog-main!

11 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Doctors and Nurses

Well, well, well, two children, a boy and a girl are facing child exploitation and possession of child pornography charges after being caught “sexting” naked photos of each other. OMG, the students aged 13 and 12 were busted over an incident at their school, the Ben Franklin Middle School in Valparaiso. He sent her his “exposed genitals” and she returned the favor.

Psst Lucky records are wiped when they turn 18 because it won’t look good on their resumes!

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Friggin Fraternity Branding

Ouch!

The moral of the story is never ever pass out in a fraternity house unless you want to be branded on the ass with a hot coat hanger. Oh dear god , the Texas Fraternity bros have a lot to answer for after Amon Carter IV  (aka Chance) showed his father the second and third degree burns he received after his frat brothers took to him with a hot coat hanger in a fraternity ritual.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Internal Pelvic Examinations Without Consent

Nope, still under, she won't know a thing!

OK, I don’t want to alarm any Canadian women out there, but did you know when you go into surgery for say a hysterectomy, it is common practice for a group of medical students to come into the operating theater and do an internal pelvic examination while you are still friggin in lala land? That’s a group of strangers tinkering in your “you know where!”  Hell no, they don’t tell you before or after, it’s friggin standard procedure. OK, everyone else at ease, evidently in the US and Britain they have to have specific consent. However, back to them Canadians,  evidently pelvic examination by trainees is “implicit.” OMG.

Psst
I sense a few eyebrows being raised. OK, here, read the article for yourself GlobeLife.

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never