Too Many Friggin Ryans

Blame it on Ryan

OK, I have just peeled my ass off the couch after watching Canada take out the gold at the 2010 Winter Olympic men’s ice hockey finals and all I can say is the reason for America’s loss….  too many friggin Ryans. I’m just saying. Ryan Miller, Ryan Suter, Ryan Whitney, Ryan Callahan, Ryan Kesler and Ryan Malone. And if that wasn’t bad enough lets not forget Bobby Ryan. People, what’s up with that, you gotta lose the Ryans. Hello, Canada only has one Ryan because they know the name means “little king” and that ain’t good when you want to be a “friggin legend”. I’m telling ya, no good can come from this. I think the USA should impose a Ryan ban until further notice.

Mosh Pit To Hell

OMG, a quadriplegic man has been impaled after his electric wheelchair was catapulted into a mosh pit at a ACDC concert in Queensland.Witnesses say one of his friends accidentally knocked the joystick of his motorized wheelchair sending him crashing more than a metre down into the pit. As he crash landed a metal stick he used to pick up things embedded in his eye. No, there was no front barrier between the wheelchair podium and the mosh pit.

USA vs Canada in Ice Hockey

OK people, we already know Hitler was pissed when Canada failed to beat the USA in the Winter Olympics Ice Hockey preliminaries but in a few hours they will be hoping to redeem themselves in the biggest clash since Jesse Owens bitch slapped the Fuhrer in Berlin. Good luck, Hitler won’t be amused if you lose nor will the 34 million Canadians. Geez, no pressure!

Epic McDonalds Fail

WTF, are you sure you are talking McDonalds here ? Looks more like a McKFC boo boo to me!

Friggin Hurt Locker

Kaboom!

Whoopsie daisy, about 20 Taliban terrorists have kaboomed themselves while laying booby trap bombs. Hmm, so who’s the boob now, huh? Yes, the highly sensitive Improvised Explosive Devices (IED) have proved too much for some of the terrorists, who continue to accidentally detonate them while in the process of hiding them. So does that mean they still get 72 virgins?

Dumbass 911 Caller of the Week

We have a winner. And the dumbassed 911 caller of the week goes to a drunk New Jersey man who called 911 claiming he had been kidnapped….  while he was in the back of a police car.

A Day At The Races

Dave Hambidge has been doing some research (I don’t want to know why) and sent me some of his findings….

Psst Make sure you drop on by to Hambo Central and try and work out some of his friggin photo puzzles.

To All the Non Believers

Celtic Queen IS a Lara Croft fan and she even sent proof !

Just what everybody needs, a Chinese souvenir plate clock…..Happy Chinese New Year.

An Operator Will Be With You Shortly

You know what sucks? When you rack up a $700 cell phone bill trying to get through to a New Mexico unemployment agency to inquire about  your unemployment benefits. An audit of  a 72 year old  man’s  cell phone bill showed he rang the state unemployment agency a total of 1,114 times as he tried just to get through to make a claim. On one occasion he was put on hold for 3 and a half hours.The good news is he finally got the benefits he was chasing, the bad news is the money will all be going towards paying his phone bill. Bummer. God giveth and God taketh away.

Who’s a Chump Now?

One chain smoking piss pot!

The best place for a beer drinking , cigarette smoking chimpanzee is friggin rehab. Zhora an ex-circus monkey from Russia has become so addicted to alcohol and nicotine he would pester people for a puff or a swig. Now concerned zookeepers have decided the best place for Zhora is rehab. Hmm, better late than never!