Monthly Archives: February 2010

Death of an Osmond

Marie Osmond’s son Michael Blosil is believed to have committed suicide Friday night by jumping out of his apartment building in LA. A rep for the Osmonds say the family is devastated and the Donny and Marie show has been canceled in Las Vegas until further notice. Michael was said to have been suffering from depression for a long time  and had spent time in a  rehab center a few years ago. Michael, who is one of 8 siblings, was adopted by Marie and her then music producer husband  Brian Blosil (they  adopted 5 children during their marriage). In 2006  it was rumored Marie also tried to kill herself,  though her publicists claimed it was a bad reaction to medication.  A suicide note was left but it is believed to have been addressed to a woman he knew in the apartment complex and not to his family. RIP Michael,  another life gone too soon.

Psst Remember people, if you’re feeling depressed please seek help whether it is through a stranger or friend.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit

Parents Upset Over Sex Survey

OMG, Ventura High School is in deep do-dah after a team of lawyers began working with parents to raise a formal objection over a sex survey given to students without their parental consent. Evidently over 1,000 students from every grade were aske to fill out  the survey which had no relevance to any subject the students were enrolled in at the time. The questions on the survey included : “What grade were you in when you lost your virginity? “, “What is your overall number of partners you have engaged in sexual activity with?”, “Were you sober the first time you engaged in sexual activity?”, “Have you or your partner ever had an abortion?”, “How often do you engage in sexual activity?” and “Are your parents aware of your sexual activity?”.  Oh and here is the best part, the results were then published in the student Cougar Press newspaper. Hmm, it doesn’t help that the State law forbids sex surveys without parental knowledge. Oh dear.

Psst Who calls their newspaper Cougar?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Rats On Planes

Now I'm gonna miss my connecting flight!

An Air Canada flight was grounded and passengers deplaned after a big friggin rat was found in an overhead locker. After a rapid rodent response team failed to find the elusive vermin the plane was taken out of service and passengers loaded onto another flight. Hmm, one wrong chew and the dirty rat could have brought down the plane.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Lara Croft Way

Well, well, well, won’t Derby suddenly get an influx of tourists after it was announced they were naming an inner ring road Lara Croft Way. The famous she-woman action character from Tomb Raider, who was created in Derby by Core Designs, has beaten out a footballer and astronomer to take out the honors. More than 27,000 people took part in the vote and a staggering 89% of them opted for Lara Croft. Well. I’ll be.

Psst I wonder if they will add  a few challenges into the road construction, hmm, like a speed bump over a croc infested moat….just a thought!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, You Go Girl!

Someone Colorized The Bronze

Now it looks something like this!

Say it ain’t so, some bastard has painted Andy Griffith red and green. Yes, the statue of Andy and Opie which is in honor of  the well loved TV actor has been vandalized. The Andy but not the Opie now features green hair and a red mouth. Quick call the sheriff of Mayber….ah never mind!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Girl Guide Spooks

I forgot what I had to say!

What’s worse than a Girl Guide  in your pocket? A Brownie in your pants. Hmm, a top secret British document has just been released which has confirmed 90 teenage Girl Guides were friggin spooks working for MI5 during World War I.Shocked? All the girls aged between 14-16 worked between 1914 and 1918 with their main role being to pass on messages (some even verbally) on behalf of the secret security services. originally MI5 focused on Boyscouts but soon switched to Girl Guides because they were less boisterous and talkative (and their damn biscuits were tasty!).

Psst Please god don’t let Kate Winslet find out or it’ll be another friggin Oscar.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Drug Smuggler Does a Sewer Tour

Oh shit!

You pretty much know where you are on the food chain when you have to wear scuba gear and wade through a friggin sewer system to sneak two bundles of marijuana across the Mexican border. Friggin close to the bottom.  Those damn pesky  border patrol agents, with their sporty new infrared cameras, watched the sucker carry the bundles in waste high sludge. As soon as the sewer rat, in his scuba gear, realized he’d been sprung he took no chances and dropped the shit and took off back in the general vicinity of Mexico. The marijuana was estimated to be worth about $44,000.

Psst For goodness sakes people just remember when taking drugs it is highly likely it was up someone’s butt, dragged through a sewer or hidden in a dead animal!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Man Eats Winning Scratchcard

OK here’s the thing dumbass, if you win £8,930 on a scratchcard during a flight on Ryanair do not eat the friggin thing just because they don’t have enough cash on-board to pay you out straight away. The angry passenger was on the way from Poland to East midlands when the kerfuffle occurred. Hmm, as soon as the flight crew confirmed his winning ticket and informed him that he would have to collect the money directly from the company, he went ape shit and proceeded to eat the winning ticket. Now the dumbass won’t be receiving a cent, it will all be going to charity.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Epic Train Fail

I don’t know what is worse, the pathetic train service or the music!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never, Whoops!

Animal Rapist Should Marry Goat

You rape a goat in Mozambique you damn well marry it. So says the goat’s owner who was horrified to learn two young men had raped one of his herd. He not only wants them to pay him damages he wants them to have a traditional wedding  ceremony which includes paying a dowry. Police sprung the two men in the act in the rural town of Mbucuta. A witness said “One of the young men was naked and holding the goat’s head, and the other was having sex with the animal.” Awkward.  Hmm, I wonder if the bride will wear white?  I bet there will be a lot of salad!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never