So Is It Your Left or My Left?

Oh crap!

So how much is a testicle worth? Hmm, if you are Italian man who had his healthy one removed in a hospital bungle it’s around $260,000. The unnamed mad had a tumor in his left ball but surgeons accidentally removed the right one. So in the end he had no balls but a nice deposit in his bank account.

Numb Skull

WTF is he doing?

I Wouldn’t Go Swimming There

Oh for goodness sakes, 21 dead babies and fetuses have been found in Guangfu River in Shandong province. The bodies are believed to have come from the Jining Medical University as at least 8 had toe tags.The bodies seem to have been either aborted or had died from illness. Zhu Zhenyu and Wang Zhijun, two mortuary workers, have already been fired and are now in police custody.It seems the two had secretly made deals with the grieving families to dispose of the bodies for a small fee.

Bumper Cars

When 70 year old Nashville man Harry Weisiger saw an Obmama/Biden bumper sticker on schoolteacher Mark Duren’s car he had no choice but to ram it. I’m guessing he was none too happy about those health care reforms.There’s a reckless endangerment charge right there.

It Was On My Friggin Bucket List

Well, well, well, bank robbing Patricia Edwards… bucket list you say? A Florida cancer patient claims she robbed a bank in Florida because it was on her bucket list of things to do before she died. Whats more it was a random act, no planning, no nothing just impulse. Only one prob, her cancer isn’t terminal and she suffers from bi-polar. Awkward.

How I Met Your Mother

Remember the killer who had a taxpayer-funded sex change operation and then fought to be sent to a womens prison? Come on, sure you do? Oh well, anywho she’s getting married to a lesbian murderess. The prisoner, previously known as Douglas Wakefield, is tying the knot with Thelma Purchase who is serving a life sentence for murder too (hmm, something in common). Wakefield was originally jailed (as a man) for strangling is uncle, then beating him with a hammer before stabbing him 48 times with a garden fork. Then while in Parkhurst Prison he killed an inmate and twice took prison officers hostage. Meanwhile, the bride got her comeuppance by murdering a disabled man so she could get her hands on £70,000. Now the two will live happily ever after behind bars at New Hall Prison in west Yorkshire, bless.

G rated Scarface

Hey little snowflakes, what should we perform for our school play this year? Scarface you say little motherfudgers? Well at least the parents won’t be bored! Fudging awesome.

Psst Stay tuned next year they will be performing Silence of the Lambs…. can you hear the lambs Clarice!

Good Friday Gets A Makeover

Hmm, spring hols has a nice ring to it!

OK, here’s the thing city of Davenport in Iowa, changing Good Friday to Spring Holidays is not only going to bring on the wrath of God but the wrath of the locals. In a political correctness campaign of nonsense the City Administrator Craig Malin took it upon himself to send a memo to all employees announcing the renaming of the holiday. Seems Mr Malin decided to follow the recommendations made by the  Davenport Civil Rights Commission who are big pushers for the separation between church and state. Oh boy, did he forget the US is still a democracy?

Why Won’t He Come When He’s Called

You know what I hate? When a Cavalier King Charles pooch gets it’s ear stuck in the mechanism of a recliner chair. I really hate that. Poor Ann Gaman had no idea her dog Sage was under her chair when she adjusted it until the deathly yelp. Firefighters were eventually able to release Sage’s ear by pulling the recliner apart. Cavalier King Charles 0, recliner 1.

Trolololo Cat

Oh dear god, even the felines are lovin the friggin Trolololo song…