Breaking News!

It must have been one hell of a  late one for the journos at News.com.au . Geez, and here I was thinking I had found a cool story for the Loons! Turns out it was a typo! Not to worry,  Kristen Stewart will be gone tomorrow!

Madhatters are Desperate

OK, here’s a shout out to all the Loons, can you go over to the friggin Madhatters and put them out of their goddam misery.No really, those bottom dwellers have been feebly trying to reach  400,000 hits and it’s getting friggin painful to watch. Go on just click here Madhatters. Think of it as charity work!!!!

Sighted at “Cow Bombie”

Yeah, thought I’d forgotten  huh? Nope, here is another cow for your viewing pleasure, Sighted at “Cow Bombie” . This lazy assed, bikini clad  Bovine spends most of the day soaking up the sun and pretending she can surf, dead set!

Ella Jackson-Walley : We are heading for “Cow Bombie” in our south west where you will find a surf break to equal the best. Surfers come from all over the world to try and catch the big one that’s  heading for shore and about to curl. Here you will find the top guns and the fledgling little grommies – but nothing will compare to our princess – Sighted at Cow Bombie!

Sighted at Cow Bombie

Nice hooves!!!

Can you be a love and rub some cream into my hide?

These togs are seriously unflattering to a cow!

Man Kabooms His Balls

Oooh, nasty!

Oh dear, we have a bleeder!!! A man shopping in the Lynnwood Department store in Seattle has accidentally shot himself in the testicles. Geez, how many times do I have to tell you not to carry your friggin gun in your waistband? Police spokeswoman said he was wounded in the balls, leg and foot. Hmm, how does that work? Anywho, no word on what he was shopping for.

They Should Get a Licking!

Oh for crying out loud, the police in New Zealand are looking for five people believed to be teenage girls, who held up a Auckland take-away store with a gun, knife and hammer. They got away with between 50-70 ice creams. Yep, after failing to get the till open, the group then focused their attentions on a freezer full of ice-creams. Geez, I hope they get an acne breakout!

Thirst Is Creepy

Hell yes, New Zealanders really know how to make creepy ads. These commercials are based on the the fact that one of the early signs of thirst is…. “creepy mouth”!!

Les Grossman Advises Robert Pattison

Here’s a sneak peek at Tom Cruise, who is revising his role as Les Grossman for MTV Awards, giving some advice to Robert Pattinson about washing his hair….OK, it ain’t no Hitler rant but it’s still friggin hilarious!

Way Too Much Information Mr Prime Minister

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key probably gave out too much information when he mentioned at a news conference he’d had a vasectomy. As a silence descended amongst the reporters, he muttered “Boy that’s slowed things down”. The media were quizzing him about childcare when one journo asked him “what if his wife had another child?” His reply was “I’d be extremely worried because I’ve had a vasectomy.” Following a few seconds of awkwardness, one reported wanted to know if it was a part of a budget cut!

First Coalition Casualty

Sheez, I only pulled the piss on him once and he’s resigned. David Laws didn’t even last a month as the Chief secretary to the Treasury before resigning over the gay love debacle. Hmm, it seems you should never funnel taxpayers money on secret gay lovers. Sheez , who knew? Anywho, his excuse was that he concealed the arrangement because he didn’t want to come out of the closet . Oh dear, secret’s out now. Evidently he paid rent to his “long term” partner James Lundie, who’s house he shared, which is a Common rules no no. Once the press got hold of this, he had no real choice but to resign.It’s a shame, sex and politics just never mix!

Debt and A Sore Head

OK, here’s the thing people, if you are going to collect a debt from someone, hitting them over the head with a chunk of pavement, ain’t necessarily the best way to go about it.  Sebastian Kelley wanted his money back from David Solak so he toddled over to his house in Maine but the two got into a fight and you pretty much know the rest….kaboom. Fat chance of getting your money back now mister!