Swimming Pools a Fire Risk

Putting out another pool fire mister?

Hello Health and Safety, banning paddling pools because they are a “fire risk” is taking the whole Nanny State thing a little too far don’t you think? While officials are banning the 4 kidddie pools at a block of flats because the housing association in Romford say it might get in the way of engines, firefighters are branding the whole thing ridiculous. Hmm, yeah because with their trucks, they’ll simply drive over the little friggin snowflakes if they get in the way.Kidding people. They say the water would come in handy if a fire broke out.

Step Away From The Stroller

OK here’s the thing drunk man in Ohio, don’t be pushing no baby stroller with kiddies in it or you’ll get friggin arrested. Steven Melendez was pretty pissed when he placed his little snowflakes in a stroller and took them with him to pick up a money order. I don’t know how drunk he was but it must have been pretty damn noticeable because some nosy concerned citizen rang 911. That’s a child endangering and public intoxication right there.

Nessie Takes a Holiday

Oh for goodness sakes people, just let it go.  Seems the Loch Ness monster has gone on a little vacation because it’s been sighted  off the coast of Devon. Yes, a sea creature (looking decidedly like Nessie)  was snapped a few meters off the British coast and if the friggin photo was in focus we might actually see something..sheez! Click here for the supposed sea monster. What do you think loons? Hmm, yeah thought so, back to my wine!

Friggin Uncle Earl

Remember Rick Norsigian? You know , the dude who  bought a load of glass negs at a garage sale for $40, had them analyzed by experts  , was told  they were taken by Ansel Adams and were estimated to be worth about $200 million. Yeah, him. Well, funny thing  about all that. During all the kerfuffle in the media, Mariam  Walton happened to notice one of the images  looked suspiciously like her Uncle Earl’s . Dagnabbit. Oh boy, her  uncle Earl Brooks was also a snap happy photographer and spent many a day at the Yosemite National Park during the 1920’s. Mariam has compared both photos and just for a few different cloud formations  they look pretty close to being identical. Hmm, oh well look on the bright side,  despite Mr Norsigian spending a shit load of money to discover his negs are worth Jack, Mariam can now  live in the knowledge  Uncle Earl’s images were in the same class as Ansel Adams even if for just a brief moment in time.Hmm, I guess those negs are going back under the pool table hey Rick?

Psst Thanks Duncan for the hands up.

Bang, Bang, You’re Dead

One more time people, do not leave your friggin loaded gun near children. A four year old Indianapolis boy picked up a gun lying on a table, pointed it at 3 year old Aunesti Lee Allen’s head , pulled the trigger and killed her. The little girl was the daughter of his father’s girlfriend, Fiona Lee. She was home at the time and has now been charged with child neglect and drug possession. No sign of boyfriend.

Friggin BP

Here’s something you might not know. Seems scientists believe the dispersants BP are using to break up the oil in the Mexican Gulf is making the spill even more toxic. All hail BP.Oh and it poses a grave risk not only to marine life but human health as well. Have a nice day.

Let Me Out

OK here’s the thing Mr Judge, if you discover that a prisoner who has been locked up for 27 years is friggin innocent, let him go! Michael Green has been told he will have to wait an extra day before being released because the Dallas court wants to give him time to compose himself so he doesn’t freak out. WTF! Green was sentenced to 75 years jail for a 1983 kidnapping and sexual assault of a woman when he was 18 years old but recent DNA testing proved it wasn’t him. He’s angry, his family are angry and he just wants out!

Psst Irony alert….Green would have been up for parole in October anyways.

2nd Psst Due to the the statute of limitations the 4 other suspects won’t be charged with the crime.

Rumor Mill Roundup

Snooki has been arrested, Montag and Pratt call it quits, Sarah Palin might not be getting a son-in-law anytime soon (Levi’s rumored to have knocked up his ex-girlfriend. Awkward), judges fall like ten pins on American Idol, Leo DiCaprio pulls out of a Mel Gibson movie, Clooney’s squeeze in cocaine scandal and FFS Carla Bruni-Sarkozy-French-Presidents-wife it was a friggin cameo it shouldn’t take 5 hours and 25 takes to complete a Woody Allen scene.

Well If That’s The Case, Keep Him!

Picture this.Your 10 year old son visits his stepfather in Oregon. While there he gets picked up by police for not wearing a helmet while riding a bike. Next thing you know your son has been thrown into foster care because they don’t recognize his stepfather as a legal guardian. So for the next two years you fight the legal system to get your son back to Calgary. Finally he returns and a month later you discover the  Oregon government are now suing you for the cost of looking after your kid. Hell yes it includes child support and medical costs.

So That’s Why The Toilet Seat Was Never Up!!!!

Whoopsie. When Japanese officials went to congrats Sogen kato the oldest man in Tokyo on his 111th birthday, they found a mummified body lying in bed. OMG and whats more, he’d been dead for 30 years. Hmm, seems his family had been covering up the fact that he had keeled so they could collect his pension payments. The relis had said Kato had confined himself to his room for 30 odd years after becoming a “living Buddha” but in reality he was dead in bed with his undies and pjs on.