Monthly Archives: September 2010

Australia’s Next Top Model Farce

Holy friggin catwalk catfight Batman.Did Foxtel Manipulate the Australia’s Next Top Model results? Seems Edwina McCann the editor of Harper’s Bazaar thinks so. She is accusing Foxtel of changing last night’s results. It is rumored they kept the voting lines open a little longer in the hope of getting Amanda over the line. After naming Kelsey as the winner, Sarah Murdoch, embarrassingly stopped the celebrations to announce there had been a mix-up. Amanda “apparently” won, thanks to three extra votes. Evidently, Murdoch heard nothing through the earpiece but was going from what she had been given on a card earlier. Awkward.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Not So Cool

Oh boy!

Tony Franzese might want to buy himself a lottery ticket after an air conditioner fell from a 6th floor window in New York and landed on his head while he was walking his dog. Franzese suffered a severe head laceration but is otherwise OK. The air con, which wasn’t properly installed, fell, landed on an awning and bounced onto the 67 year old’s noggin.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Shit Happens

Oh and if any of you were wondering,  the Richmond man who fell into  2 feet of cow shit will be OK. Michael Martin was in a loader when it tumbled into a manure pit and he was thrown into the waste.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Daddy Dearest

Regrets, he had a few!

OK, here’s the thing Donald Curtis Denney, plotting to smuggle a chunk of black tar heroin to your son in prison was never going to work, especially after the two of you discussed it over friggin monitored telephones for two months. OK Loons, you may upchuck a little after you hear what the two schemed, so be warned. Denney was going to shove the golf sized black tar heroin up his butt and then he was going to pass it to his son (the hard hat bandit) via a mouth to mouth kiss during a visit (nasty). Fortunately he was arrested at the Colorado prison before the tonguey.

Psst Damn! I would have made him exchange the heroin before  arresting him.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Daddy, Why Is There Fur In My Sandwich?

Good grief, there is nothing worse than making lunch for your snowflakes only to discover a dead mouse in the loaf of bread. No seriously, that’s gross. Worse still, Stephen Forse from Oxfordshire had already used some of the bread. Initially he thought it was just a hard spot where the dough had failed to mix but on closer inspection it was a dead rodent. Want to see it? OK, but be warned it’s gross … the dead mouse.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Security In The Hands Of Monkeys

Monkey Business

Holy crap, New Delhi officials at this years Commonwealth Games have called in the big guns to cope with major security issues. Yes, they are deploying 38 langurs around sporting venues in an attempt to keep stray dogs and cobras away from the athletes. Oh, by the way langurs are monkeys.Indian officials said “The additional langurs will take care of the Games venues and other important areas,” Sheez, that should make the athletes sleep easier!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

Oh for goodness sakes Michael Shea did you have to break into a movie theatre so you could masturbate. Surely, you could have found a more convenient place, like your friggin HOME? Shea broke into the American Place Sparta Theatre proceeded to the rear stairway and began slapping the sausage. Unfortunately he was in full view of a surveillance camera. Bummer. When arrested, after leaving the building, police discovered several pieces of women’s lingerie on him.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never