Monthly Archives: December 2010

Took 20 Minutes To Deliver My Pizza

OK, for all the people who bought Jamie Oliver’s 30 Minute Meals, sucked in! Seems he fibbed a tad on how long it would take to make each meal. Might want to put a few hours aside and empty your wallet. To make the recipes it will require $455 of kitchen equipment, a shit load more for the expensive ingredients and a maid to clean up the friggin mess when you’re done. Hmm, takes three minutes tops for Burger King to whip up a Whopper!!!!

Psst His book is currently the fastest selling non-fiction title of all time (in Britain presumably).


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Grab Your Deerstalkers

OMG, a skull believed to be that of Ned Kelly may really be….wait for it…the skull of Jack the Ripper. Yes, that’s right folks, Jack the friggin Ripper. For many years it was believed the wife and child killing British bigamist conman Frederick Bailey Deeming was in fact the infamous Whitechapel murderer. He was hanged in the Melbourne jail in 1892 but before his execution he boasted to fellow prisoners he was the notorious Jack the Ripper.Witnesses say they saw a man fitting Deeming’s description in London’s East End in 1888 buying knives. Anywho, at some stage a skull believed to be that of Ned Kelly was stolen from a glass display cabinet in the prison . A West Australian farmer Tom Baxter handed it in last year and since then experts have been trying to verify who the hell the skull belongs to, Kelly or Deeming? They are currently asking any female relis of the hanged English killer to come forward to give DNA. It is believed that his brothers and sisters were so horrified by his crimes they changed their names to Bailey.


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Hey, Has Anyone Seen My Thong?

I love my job

Moral of the story is never piss off an exotic dancer. Kayla Anderson aka Summer suspected that other dancers at the Deja Vu were stealing her customers so she raided their lockers, collected up all their bras, underwear and lingerie then torched them. The Louisville lounge suffered only minor damage but sadly the apparel could not be saved. As for Anderson, there is now an arrest warrant out for her.


Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

Merry Christmas 999

Attention time wasting 999 callers, the Hertfordshire police have had enough. Please don’t ring unless you have a friggin emergency….

Leave a comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Boney M Singer Dies On the Same Day As Rasputin

Oh my, Bobby Farrell the singer and dancer from Boney M has been found dead in a Russian hotel room. The 61 year old was on tour and had just completed a concert in Saint Petersburg when he said he wasn’t feeling well. He was found dead in bed the following day. Ironically the singer  died on the exact same date as Rasputin and in the same town.  Oh, those Russians! He had a history of heart probs. RIP Bobby Farrell.


Filed under End Credit

My, What Strong Teeth You Have

and they aren't even mine!

A big old shout out to the 92 year old man who spent two hours chewing through masking tape after two bastards bound him to a chair and robbed his house.The elderly man let the two men into his house to use the phone after they told him their car had broken down. That’s when they grabbed him and duct him to a chair.The scum got away with $400 in cash and took off in his Ford pickup. I hope there is a special place reserved in hell for people like that.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Human Frogger Fail

Remember that dumbass video game Frogger? Yep, the one where you try to get the frogs safely across the road without  turning them into roadkill. Well anywho, some guy from South Carolina was hospitalized after he decided to try the real life version of the game. Hmm, evidently he got cleaned up by a SUV. Game over. Friends say he was discussing the game just before he yelled “go” and then ran into on coming traffic on a four lane highway.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Friggin Ashes

Just putting out the fans

OK, excuse me for being a cynical Friggin Loon, but I nearly choked on my cornflakes this morning after hearing Ricky Ponting has been sidelined for the 5th Ashes Test. A bit friggin late dontcha think? Why didn’t he considered that before going injured into the Boxing day test. Hmm, could it have been self interest and ego?  The captain didn’t even bother to front up for the press conferences after the teams pathetic 98 runs in the first innings, instead leaving Michael Clark to face the music. I have deliberately avoided mentioning the Ashes Cricket test on the blog fearing Duncan would humiliate us even more (if that is possible)  BUT WTF?

Here’s the thing you dumbassed selectors. When Greg Chappell, Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh all retired around 1983-84 it left a gapping hole in the Australian cricket team and they declared they would never allow that to happen again….fast forward to today and the retirement of Shane Warne, Glen Macgrath, Matthew Hayden and Adam Gilchrist and viola, we have the same friggin issue. A classic example of that is  Mr Cricket (Mike Hussey), he debuted for the Aussie team in 2005 when he was friggin 31. De-friggin-buted. The reluctance of selectors and cricketers to allow young blood into the side has left us with the pathetic group we have today, who seem more interested in their advertising deals (and tattoos) than actually playing. Is this because they have no fear of being dropped from the side?

Just prior to Australia losing the Ashes they were well and truly whipped by Sri Lanka  who have a new YOUNG and impressive team. And don’t get me started on all the friggin excuses they are making for keeping Ponting on as captain. Give anyone the friggin job it can’t get any worse. As far as I can see Australian cricket has become like a clicky little boys club protecting their own. It’s enough to make me want to watch AFL. I would encourage all young cricketers to try their luck in the Indian Premier League, it would be easier to get a game.

PSST For all you non English or Aussie residents, Cricket is a sport.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Yeah, About Your Niece and Nephew!

Hi gran!

British scaffolder Charlie Lowden secretly donated sperm to his lesbian aunt so she could have two children with her partner. HOWEVER, the secret was revealed to his stunned parents after Charlie (20) died unexpectedly during routine surgery. Surprise, you’re grandparents! Despite the initial shock of discovering their niece and nephew were really their grandkids, Charles and Lynn Lowden say they are over the moon that a little piece of Charlie was left behind.

Psst I know what you are thinking, here’s hoping it was the aunt’s partner who provided the eggs!


Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Last Jesus Sighting Of The Year

And the last Jesus sighting of the year goes to Karen Sigler from Indiana who believes Jesus appeared in her chest X-ray just above her heart.

or Darth Vader?


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never