Monthly Archives: December 2010

Jeans, Porn and Poo

Our barley grown from quality shit!

Of  all the things you could have in the world  guess what’s on North Korea’s most wanted list? Skinny jeans, porn and human poo. Yes that’s right folks. Since the the ban on fashionable trousers was lifted, fashion conscious North Korean women have gone ape over skinny jeans (which would probably look baggy on them). Porn is pretty much self explanatory. But human poo,WTF? Hmm, seems there is a shortage of fertilizer in North Korea and human manure shops are popping up everywhere. OK people, what is wrong with sheep or cow manure? Sheez!

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Guns and Sex Don’t Mix

A man in Oklahoma told police he accidentally shot his wife in the head during a fantasy sex game involving a gun. Awkward! Hmm, Arthur John Sedille (23) told police he grabbed a handgun from next to the bed, cocked the gun, put it  to Rebecca Sedille’s  head and it went kaboom. He said he didn’t have a clue it was loaded. Mrs Sedille (50) was pronounced dead at the  hospital.

7 Comments

Filed under End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Merry Friggin Christmas

A woman in the Philippines died instantly after her Christmas present exploded. Sheez, the damn pressie contained a friggin bomb. The poor thing was killed on the spot when it kaboomed right in her face as she opened it. Who would do something like that? The present was sent to the family home in Manila.

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Filed under End Credit, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Pedo Policeman

A big shout out to shopkeeper Harekrishna Patel who realized that the detective in a stab vest who “arrested” a teen in his newsagency was an impostor. Patel, who knew the boy, became suspicious of the cop’s behavior after he saw him approach the teen, search him, take his house keys before marching  him out for “questioning”. A quick thinking Patel confronted the policeman and asked to see his police ID badge, when he failed to do so Patel rang the real police. Seems the cop was actually Brandon Cunningham a convicted pedophile. Take a bow Harekrishna Patel.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Might Want To Step Away From That Shrimp

You know the Gulf seafood that everyone has been telling you is safe to eat? Yeah well about that…might want to get Erin Brokevich on the phone.Seems a New Orleans law firm is questioning the government’s assurance the seafood poses no danger to the public despite it having lived in BP crude oil drenched waters. Testing by an independent  group has revealed high levels of hydrocarbons which can cause liver damage.  The federal government reopened more than 90 % of the fishing waters five months after BP finally plugged the hole which saw crude oil spewing into the gulf for months.

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing

Really Old Teeth Found In A Cave

A team of Israeli archaeologists are just about exploding with delight after discovering what is believed to be 400,000 year old teeth in a cave. Hmm, are they sure it ain’t from some lost Palestinian? Anywho ,if tests prove to be conclusive, and this is the remains of the earliest Homo sapien ever found, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be more Jewish bragging rights!

13 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Thank Goodness For Volvos and ABBA!

OK, here’s the thing three Swedish thieves using wheelchairs as their getaway vehicles, just remember when it snows the police can see your friggin tracks dumbasses. The two men and a woman  ransacked a basement in an apartment building but were soon caught after the cops simply followed their tracks in the snow.

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

So What You’re Saying is NO?

As if lady!

Honey , Sweetie, darl when approaching a Darwin taxi driver for a little sex on the side, you might want to think about having a shower first. Dean the cabbie picked up the woman outside a tavern and she soon asked if he wanted to have sex…his response…”If you saw the girl you’d have to be pretty desperate. She was a very big fat ugly woman, she got in the car and stunk it out.” In other words, Dean politely declined the offer but then things got nasty. The enraged sheila began swearing, cursing and kicking, then got out of the taxi for some more swearing, kicking and cursing before she threw a bottle through the rear window.Hmm, no one puts the fat, ugly , smelly woman in the corner (even in Darwin)!

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Guess Who Picked A Winner?

OK folks, one of the disadvantages of being famous is you just can’t pick your boogers in peace. Click the picture below and try and guess who was caught searching for a little green man …..

Go on click it!!!

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, You Go Girl!

Five Teens Dead In Motel Room

Sad, sad, sad. Five teenage boys were found dead in a Florida motel from carbon monoxide poisoning while celebrating a 19th birthday. It is believed the teens left a car running in the garage underneath their room at the Presidente Hotel after they had trouble starting it earlier. A boy who had left the party the night before told police that they had left the car running because they were worried they wouldn’t be able to get it started in the morning.

9 Comments

Filed under End Credit