OK loons, I found out something really cool. If I worked as an immigration officer I could put my partner’s name on the list of terrorist suspects and stop the bastard flying home. No, no, it’s true, some guy did it to his wife and she got banned from boarding flights back into Britain for three years. When she toddled off to Pakistan to visit her family her hubby whacked her name on the list and viola, infinite wifelessness . The incident was only discovered after the man was selected for promotion and they found his wife’s name on the terror suspects list. Needless to say he’s now been sacked. Hmm, worst is yet to come…..wife is now off the list!
Monthly Archives: January 2011
Now this is how I like my nature programs …”The Cassowary is a hideous and hateful bastard of a bird, and like most things that live in Australia, if ya piss it off, it can totally kick the shit out of you.”
Oh for crying out loud, what is wrong with this picture? A judge in England decided not to send a man, who attacked two men during a brawl, to jail so he could come live in Australia with his wife and family. WTF, we stopped taking convicts years ago, didn’t we? James O’Neill got a “get out of Jail free” card when his lawyer argued that O’Neill would be unable to enter Australia if he had a custodial sentence.
A Crestview mom came up with a simple and friggin effective way to stop her eldest son picking on his younger bro. Call the police.Yep, after oldest son (18) got peeved with mom, he went off and slapped his younger brother. Response? A call to the cops. Hmm, after they noted a red mark on younger boy’s face, they arrested older brother for battery.
OK, here’s the thing purse snatcher. If you want some respect, don’t be leaving your slippers at the scene of the crime. Your friggin slippers for goodness sakes, have some pride man, at least dress before scaring the shit out of poor women. A 19 year old woman told police she was walking down a street in Youngstown when a man pulled up in a car and asked her for directions. After giving him assistance he jumped out of the car and grabbed her purse. But she wasn’t going to give up that easily and held on tight, resulting in both of them falling to the ground. He then grabbed the purse and drove off, leaving behind a pair of slippers.
Psst Hmm, sure his car didn’t turn back into a pumpkin?
Brazilian man Joao Batista Groppo had allegedly been keeping his wife, Sebastiana, locked up in a cellar for 16 years. She was discovered lying starkers in a corner of the cellar with just a blanket after police received a tip-off. Hmm, 16 years and they finally get a tip-off? The room was evidently covered in feces and crawling with roaches. Groppo, who had been married to Sebastiana for 40 years, told police she was mentally ill. Alrighty then, so that would explain the girlfriend (Maria Aparecida Furquim) he had living upstairs. Both Groppo and Furquim have been charged with illegal imprisonment.
Psst So for 16 years who did the dishes?