Monthly Archives: January 2011

Windshield Wiper Fail

Dude?

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Uncategorized

Piano On The Sandbar Finds A Home

OMG, remember that baby grand suck on a sandbar in Florida? Yeah well some musician hired a team to rescue the damn thing. Carl Bentulan said his son pressured him into saving the sorry excuse for a musical instrument, after it was discovered all alone on a sandbar. Ironically the real owners of the piano, the Harrington family, rolled up to retrieve it on the very same day. Snap! Seems threats of massive fines was a great motivator. They told reporters they had placed the former movie prop on the sandbar after it was set alight at a New Year’s Eve Party. Poor friggin thing! Anywho, they were surprised as anyone to discover it was already gone. Meanwhile back at the Bentulan’s house, they say it’s shit and far too gone to ever play music again BUT they plan to make it a decoration in their living room!!!! Really? Maybe in a corner?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !

Family Dollar Store Robbery Fail

Trying to rob a Family Dollar Store pretty much always ends in tears. Hmm, but in this case, it ends with a casket and a hospital bed. Allegedly two men with guns confronted two armored truck guards after as one guard walked from the Chicago store with a bag of money.Long story short, the guards were able to shoot the men despite one having a sawn off shotgun shoved under his chin and the other a gun in his back. Both suspects were shot in the head, with one dying at the scene and the other being rushed to hospital in a critical condition. Neither guard was injured. WTF, were they friggin ninjas?

Want sauce with that?

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Big Bang Theory

If you happen to be a Virgo, step away from the car and catch a friggin bus. Seems Allstate, an insurance company in Illinois, has done some star sign research (via the revised astrological calendar) and discovered 211,650 Virgos were involved in car accidents last year. Sheez! That is like a shit load more than the safest drivers, the Scorpios, who only pranged 26,833 times .Hmm, seems the signs linked to “compassion,” “graciousness” and “resourcefulness” were the least likely to get into accidents while the other ones eg “uncompromising,” “arrogant” and “impatient” bastards, are just an accident waiting to happen.
Wanna know where you stand on the big bang theory? From safest to scariest…

Scorpio (probably Volvo drivers)
Ophiuchus (that new friggin sign with a shit name)
Cancer
Aquarius
Libra
Aries
Capricorn
Gemini
Sagittarius
Pisces
Taurus
Leo
and Virgo (road rage much?)

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!

Damn You Ted Williams

Sheez, ever since homeless man Ted “Golden Voice” Williams was plucked off the street, thrown into rehab and given serious radio job offers, everyone’s  been cashing in…introducing Americas Homeless Got Talent…..

 

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Titanic Explained By Japanese Woman

If you haven’t watched the movie Titanic yet,  here’s basically what happens …

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Japan

Gives New Meaning to Little Shit

A 16 year old North Hunterdon High School student is in big doodah after he caused a stink in his mid term exams. The teen allegedly asked to use the bathroom and then shat in a coffee mug with a screw on cap and returned to the classroom then removed the lid. I’d give him a few extra marks for accuracy, do you know how hard it is to poop into a mug?

Want sauce with that?

 

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious

Monk Charged With Smoking

Smoking.....and you?

Whatever you do DON’T SMOKE in Bhutan. A Buddhist monk has become the first person to be charged with smoking, under the country’s new strict anti smoking laws. That’s five years right there monk! The weeny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan is on a mission to make their nation smoke free, believing it to be bad karma. In 2005 the sale of tobacco was totally banned, however people are allowed to import up to 200 cigs a month as long as they smoke them in private. Unfortunately the monk was caught with 72 packets of chewing tobacco.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Sorry, Don’t Know The Answer

If anyone happens across the body of an 85 year old quizmaster, it’s probably Mike Bongiorno. Some one has nicked his body from a grave in Arona near Milan. The dude was one of Italy’s “Quiz show king” for more than 50 years and worse still was a close mate of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. The body snatching theft has left the nation stunned and bewildered. So far no ransom has been demanded for the return of the body.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Genetically Modified Alfalfa

Woohoo, the ag secretary in the US has given the thumbs up to the unrestricted commercial cultivation of genetically modified alfalfa. Sheez, who eats that shit? Kidding, health nuts, kidding. Anywho, the traditionalists are not happy claiming their crops will eventually become contaminated with the GM alfalfa. The genetically modified alfalfa contains a gene that makes the plant resistant to the herbicide Roundup. In other words, farmers can merrily spray  chemicals all over their crops without killing the plant. No worries, most of the alfalfa is used to make hay for dairy cattle and horse.  Hmm, what could possibly go wrong?

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never