Monthly Archives: January 2011

The Dangers Of Being A Suicide Bomber

OK, here’s the thing suicide bombers, make sure when you’re preparing your friggin cell phone activated suicide belt , no one sends you a text message before hand and sets the damn thing off. A Russian woman who was planning to blow herself up in Red Square on New Year’s Eve was blown to smithereens a few hours before when her cell phone provider sent her a Happy New Year text , triggering the detonation. She and her house were pretty much blown to kingdom come!

Psst There goes the 72 virgins!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

How Frustrating!

Alison Louise Vince has pleaded guilty to making a false report. Whoopsie. Seems during a drunken fight  she rang Hobart police and told them  her partner was refusing to have sex with her. Her excuse … “I was off my face at the time. It started over an argument with my old man. I can’t remember a thing from that night”. Sheez, come on, give her a break. If anything, hubby should feel guilty!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Egypt Unplugged

OMG, Egypt’s internet is currently unplugged. The kill switch was pulled by the government as protesters called for the end of President Hosni Mubarak’s nearly 30-year rule. The internet blackout has raised eyebrows around the world. Surely it can’t be THAT easy to get a government to force all their internet providers to pull their plugs? Hmm, maybe it is! Oh and if you think you can Tweet or Facebook from your cell phone in Egypt during these protests and riots, think again, all cell phone calls have been blocked too! I’m guessing they don’t want the world to know what is really going on!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Gorilla Walks Like A Man

Holy evolution debate Batman. A Silverback gorilla called Ambam has learned to walk like a man after spending an awful lot of time peering over the fence waiting for his  food. Hmm, funny, because I’ve spend a lot of time on all fours…ah never mind!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

Charlie Sheen Is At It Again

Charlie Sheen was rushed to hospital last night with severe abdominal pain after a 36 hour bender. TMZ is reporting that a “briefcase full of cocaine” was delivered to his house during the private shindig which included 2 porn stars and several other women. Hmm, copious amounts of alcohol and bricks of cocaine, tsk, tsk Charlie,  Dr Drew is ready and waiting !

Psst CBS’s shares dropped 2.9% after  news broke that their highest paid star had been rushed to hospital. Coincidence?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Friggin Leemings!

The lab tests are in on the 300 blackbirds found dead recently near Athens in Limestone county, Alabama. Hmm, it appears they all died from flying into…wait for it… a large object like a tractor-trailer rig. WTF, is that the best they could come up with? It’s Alabama people, how’s about they flew into a UFO or something????

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Join the skeptic club!, Whoops!

There Goes My Calling At 3am

OMG, when Buddy, a valuable Siamese-Bengal cross pedigree cat,  went missing in New Zealand the owner was understandable upset. But imagine her shock-horror when a few days later the cat strolls back home missing his balls! Yep, someone had the puddy cat surgically neutered. Needless to say Michelle Curtis is furious as she intended Buddy to be a stud cat “What am I supposed to do now? I can’t exactly get someone to sew them back on,” Hmm, ain’t that the truth!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Sore Loser

Give The Girl Back Her Toys

OK robbers, for crying out loud, how many times have I told you, stealing a little girl’s Beanie Babies is no way to go through life…meanies! Scott Napolillo (18) and Sean Knapp (18) got on their bikes and rode to a house in St Cloud to collect a debt. They threatened to stab an unnamed man if he didn’t pay $130. Of course he had no cash, so Napolillo ransacked the house, packing a black bag with 13 AA batteries, 9 Nintendo video games, 6 Beanie Babies, a souvenir baseball bat and a cell phone (and a partridge in a pear tree!!!). Police later spied the two as they rode their bikes against traffic and cut off a car. When confronted about the content of the bag they told police they were items to settle a debt but the victim later told police the Beanie Babies and the Nintendo games belonged to his 7 year old sister.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

That Is Hard To Swallow

Oh dear, when an Albuquerque woman tasted a free yogurt sample at the Sunflower Market she immediately spat it out claiming it tasted like sperm. Sheez, well spotted! The woman was so disgusted she rang police who scooped up the evidence that was still where she had spat it out. The employee was arrested (for unrelated warrants) but won’t be charged until the test results can prove it’s semen. Hmm, so what was the yogurt brand?

Want sauce (pardon the pun) with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Incoming!!!!

If first you don’t succeed, think middle ages. Drug smugglers have been caught on surveillance cameras catapulting packs of cannibis over the Mexican border into the US. Atta boys.The fun ended after the Naco Border Patrol Station watched them for awhile before contacting the Mexican authorities. Yes, they even seized the catapult!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never