Axe Murderer Update

Oh my, remember the well known South African rugby player who chopped up three men with an axe because he said they raped his daughter and gave her HIV? Hmm, yeah about that, seems his daughter was never raped and doesn’t have HIV. Awkward! Police now believe “The motive is evil-oriented”. Oh well, he’s screwed!

Pam Ayres

Does anyone remember Pam Ayres? I grew up with her poetry and still have her well worn books on my bookshelf. Hilarious Loons, hilarious ….

About That Head In The River

You know what I hate? When you are going for a walk and you see a human head with “curly hair and eyebrows” in the River Witham, only to have the police inform you a little time later it was a friggin rock! I really hate that. Yes, it was in England!

Want sauce with that?

Advise For Today

If your child has just eaten ants, do not, and I repeat, do not feed them ant-killer because you’re concerned about “ants jiggling inside” their tummy.This has been a community service announcement from the Dunedin-based National Poisons Centre.

Primal Instinct

OMG, a top South African rugby player has been arrested for allegedly hacking to death three men who he believed gang raped his daughter, giving her HIV. The man, who has not been named, played for one of the leading teams in Durban. The three men were butchered with an axe, with one being decapitated and his head thrown in a dustbin. When police raided the player’s house they found an axe and bloodied clothing of one of the victims. Sadly the crime rate in South Africa, especially sexual assaults against women, has spiraled out of control forcing many to take action into their own hands. Another tragic tale that will have no winners.

Psst The rugby player is black so police have ruled out a racial motivation for the killings.

Want sauce with that?

Breast Feeding Doll Anyone?

Debate time…Berjuan Toys have just released “Breast Milk Baby” a breast feeding doll for little girls. Bless. The doll comes with a top that the child can wear which has two flower nipples and a sensor that makes sucking sounds. As you would expect the doll has hit the controversy button. Camp A says …  its a normal part of life and teaches the child that breast feeding is a natural and normal way to feed a baby. Camp B ….WTF, this will encourage young girls to get pregnant. Camp C …. why can’t kids just be kids.

Why Is Everyone Reading Bedtime Stories?

Oh for crying out loud you friggin drug dealing crims, how desperate do you have to be to get someone to send you a  children’s coloring books saturated in narcotic drugs to the Cape May County Correctional Center? Hmm,quite. Who knew  Suboxone could be turned into a paste and plonked onto the pages of a kiddies book. Well the correctional officers for starters. The package sent to the inmate was addressed “To Daddy” and featured drawings of Cinderella and Snow White. It fooled no one and now five inmates have new charges on their resumes!