Why Is the Statue Of David’s Penis Uncircumcised?

OK loons, here’s a question for ya …. why is the statue of David’s penis uncircumcised? I know, I know, but it’s like the big friggin elephant in the room!  However I am currently researching Michelangelo’s chiseled piece and thought it strange that David (obviously Jewish) hadn’t been snipped. David, by the way, is the dude that slingshotted Goliath. Theories?

Psst If you look closely you will also notice that David’s head and hands are way too big for the rest of the body. That’s because the statue was intended to be plonked atop the cathedral. Michelangelo  accentuated the important parts so they could be visible by people from below. So why such a small penis?

It's a bit on the wee side too!

Hmm, and makes his penis even smaller!


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !

45 responses to “Why Is the Statue Of David’s Penis Uncircumcised?

  1. Fairy Face

    Ewh Loon what happened to his pubes, too much conditioner lol?

  2. Pseudocognitive

    Yeah, yeah, did poor David’s penis, but at least it’s always hard (albeit in TFO–Typical Flaccid Orientation).

  3. Pseudocognitive

    Yeah, yeah, dis poor David’s penis, but at least it’s always hard (albeit in TFO–Typical Flaccid Orientation).

  4. Pseudocognitive

    First one was misfire. Misspelled word.

  5. Come on ladys is all you can think about is size.
    We men don’t cear if there a, b, c, or double D’s

  6. Maybe it was just a clay drip.

    • Anonymous

      He is made out of Marble and it was because this particular piece of Marble was actually left over by some artist who did not think he could finish the statue so Michelangelo took it off his hands and the piece was created.

  7. the more important question we all want the answer to is – why are you researching the little prick ?

  8. Maybe David saw that snakebite video you posted the other day and got a little scared… could be a classic(al) case of statuary shrinkage. 🙂

  9. Bianca

    Because back then, circumcision wasn’t the removal of the whole prepuce, it was just a nick of the skin and a few drops of blood.

  10. David

    Oh, the ignorance displayed here. Michelangelo carved a statue of a young teen boy, hence the hands and feet are disproportional, just like real pubescent boys, as well as his developing member.

    • Oh David, nice of you to come out of your closet. The silly Loons here are beyond their understanding of young developing males. Why TF would Michelangelo carve out a shagged out old man to put on top of a church….That would go against all priest hood liking….. gee…don’t they get it?

    • fairy face

      What a load of crap.

  11. Jjabrams

    You guys are sick! A biblical icon. And what’s your focus in your comments. Not funny at all! Stupid Americans.

  12. A big uncomfortable vagina, now how can a vagina be uncomfortable? Mega balls I can understand casue you sit on them but a vagina, that’s a difficult one.

  13. Jake

    David’s penis was not circumcised on the statue because most men of that time were not circumcised in Europe, or the rest of the world for that matter.
    Circumcisions were performed primarily for religious reasons. (The covenant with Abraham.)
    Then in the 40s and 50s the church thought it would cut back on masterbation if the penis was less sensitive so they began doing routine circumcisions to virtually all males in the US. That practice has reversed again.

    • David was *Jewish* Jake. And he didn’t live in Europe. So except for the fact that you’ve got everything wrong, your comment makes perfect sense.

      • Niko

        Michelangelo was Italian. He created a statue that was influenced by his country or he simply didn’t know that Jewish men are circumsized. Also he had to make his penis smaller because the church back then had a problem with sexuality (and still does).

    • Dahlia

      No, Niko, the Church did not force the sculptor to make David’s penis small because Christians hate sex, but because going back to antiquity, to the time of the pre-eminence of Greco-Roman art, small penises on men were considered more attractive, even by pagans. Usually only buffoonish or sexually obsessed characters in art had large penises because a large penis was considered a sign of a man who could not control his lusts. The aesthetic choice Michelangelo made here is the choice of most artists in Antiquity and the Renaissance. Have a look at many old sculptures and paintings of manly characters like Hercules: small penises on all of them.

      To answer other queries: Michelangelo would have sculpted and painted what he knew. Circumcision is not something he would have seen on his model, most likely. He probably would not have considered whether or not David should be circumcised because he was Jewish, any more than he would have considered that Jesus would be unlikely to have blonde hair and blue eyes because he was from the Middle East.

      Also, for those people who are wondering, the outsized head and hands of David are because the sculpture is not meant to be seen at eye level. It is meant to be seen at ground level. It is designed so that when you look at it from below, you see correct proportions on the body. It’s a genius work of foreshortening. The proportions appear properly when you see the sculpture in person, because are looking at it from a worm’s eye view.

      Classically trained artist and teacher here, take it or leave it.

  14. Ok all US males, is this true?

  15. IT looks small cos David is looking at his left side, if he were looking right, man it would have been a giant one

  16. Anonymous

    I don’t know what happend, one second i was looking at chinesse penis then davids dick. Friggin community.

  17. venven

    cirsumcision used to be much less severe than it is now, he could very well be circumcised. Also, the reason his hands are so much bigger is NOT the reason you stated, but because he was portrayed as an adolescence whom had not yet grown into his hands and feet.

  18. Pd

    There were no Jewish cadavers in the Roman Catholic morgue where Michelangelo sketched. And the male cadavers were all uncircumcised in Italy at that time, so his carving portrayed wrongly for David a Jew!

  19. M

    because circumcision is barbaric archaic ritual of perversion. GOD said no such thing. there is no GOD saying for us to remove part of the body that he designed so perfectly in his image. IF God is so Perfect, after all. Also, removing parts of the body off of children that cant be informed, or consent…is a massive violation of the sanctity of another human’s body. Removing their free will & choice. is ultimately Wrong. making circumcision doubly archaic. might as well cut labias off baby girls.

  20. Historian

    Circumcision performed on infant Jewish boys was much different until about 600-something CE (I’m not confident on the year, but it is CE). After his birth, the foreskin would have been pulled forward as much as possible and just the very tip of the foreskin would have been cut off. When not errect it would have looked pretty much like anyone else’s. At some point there was this rabbinical debate and they started doing the more invasive procedure we now think of when we think of circumcision. The new/current procedure is more painful and has greater health risks (infection, etc) because they literally have to rip skin apart. This is why the current procedure would have been seen as torture and inappropriate in the BCE, which means David was circumcised, but this is not and entirely inaccurate representation of his anatomy.

  21. azoreseuropa

    Actually, incorrect. He was circumcised because he was an Israel and he was jew. He became a king and a king of Israel. Yes, jews people in God’s people was circumcised because of special relationship with God in past.

  22. azoreseuropa

    Remember, big hands and bigger shoes doesn’t mean penises are bigger and its not true. False. Thats myth.

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