Monthly Archives: April 2011

Vicar Does A Cartwheel

Was the vicar pleased that  Kate and Wills had finally said “I do” or was he just glad to see the back of the 2,000 guests at Westminster Abbey?

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Royal Wedding Review

Yes, the loon watched the Royal Wedding. For some reason I was captivated by Will’s bald spot, no matter how hard I tried I kept staring.  Also fascinating was Elton John’s inability to know the words to any of the hymns sang. Fergie’s kids had rather hideous hats. Chelsea got a bummer seat, plonked next to someone she air-kissed. Harry looked bored. Beckham wore his OBE medal on the wrong side. Hmm, I swear Kate choked over the word “poorer” during the “richer for poorer” spiel . Oooh and that ring looked like it wasn’t gonna fit. You twist not push Will!!!! Mommy Middleton looked like the cat who swallowed the canary while hubby just sweated profusely! Everyone got a royal welcome except for Charles and Camilla (not crowd pleasers). Poor darl must be still spitting chips she was married at a registry office!

Psst Rumors are that Kate will place her wedding bouquet on Princess Diana’s grave.

16 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Look At My New Toy Mom!

An 8 year old brings a loaded gun to his Queens elementary school and sells it to his classmate for $3….priceless. The incident was uncovered when the second boy showed his bargain to his mom when he got home. School officials in Flushing contacted police after one very angry mom rocked up with a “please friggin explain”. Both the little kid and his dad (who owned the Taurus 9 mm) were promptly arrested.

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Monobookist Bookstore

You have to take your hat off to author Andrew Kessler he’s going all out to sell his first novel “Martian Summer: Robot Arms, Cowboy Spacemen, and My 90 Days with the Phoenix Mars Mission,”  Hmm, Compelling reading no doubt! Kessler has rented out a bookstore in New York’s trendy West Village and filled all the shelves with his book. Yes, only his book! Despite some interest he said “A lot of people are scared to come in. Some people wonder if we’re Scientologists.” Goodness knows how much rent he is forking out but he has 3,000 of the books to sell.

A few snippets from Amazon reviewers about the book  – “Kessler’s ability to make astrophysics comprehensible to an eighth grade girl and get her to giggle is the geek appeal. Spending a summer inside mission control in Tucson brings home the fact that Mars is truly distant.”

“And because the author is a layman, it’s accessible for a normal person.”

“My own 13 yr.old space-nerd loved it!”

“The one part of a Kindle purchase I wish could be changed for this purchase: deleting a purchase instead of just archiving it!”

Wants sauce with that?

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Who Could It Be Now?

OK don on your deerstalkers loons, we have a mystery to solve. Last week I didn’t bothered to write about the gag order a judge gave to all media in Britain to stop the naming of a well known (and supposedly happily married) actor who slept with prostitute Helen Wood (Yep,  of  Wayne Rooney fame). I didn’t particular care  who, what, where or how (OK, how could have been interesting) though I  did think it was strange a court could have such power. Anywho, now I discover that Wikipedia did a Wikileaks and named him. OK, someone who added content outed him and not just once, but each time the entry was deleted (bet it was probably his pissed off wife). The entry has disappeared again and  see now,  curiosity is killing the cat. Who the hell was it? Hmm, I can’t think of a well known British actor who is happily married for starters!

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Who’s A Little Princess Then?

Oh dear, is this what we should expect from X-gens? A 7 year old boy in Sweden rang 112, the emergency equivalent to 911, because another kid whacked him while he was playing in  a sandbox. The police dispatcher told him to go tell his parents. Sheez, what happened to a good old tasering and arrest for being a nuisance? Soft in Sweden!

3 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

What’s The Odds?

OK, here’s the thing Anthony Trang, if you are going to steal a friggin rare Clarion NX501 sound system don’t be taking it to the nearest car stereo installation store, because the owner might just happen to work there! Dude? Yep, poor silly Trang happened to ask Eric Ford to install the equipment he had allegedly stolen from Ford’s car only hours before. The equipment was easily identified because there are only a few in the region. Pretty big fail there Trang!

1 Comment

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!