Australian Idol Judge Dead

One of Australian Idol’s judges has been found dead in a hotel room in Woolloomooloo. Settle, it isn’t Dicko or Marcia but Jay Dee Springbett, who replaced Kyle Sandilands after he was sacked. Police say there are no suspicious circumstances. RIP Jay Dee.

Rapist Just Can’t Help Himself

I hate my job!

Oh for crying out loud, as a woman was giving a detailed account of her rape in court the alleged perpetrator, Przemyslaw Jakubowski,was masturbating in the dock. The only witness to Jakubowski’s vile behavior was a female translator sitting next to him who reported it to prison guards. Needless to say she refused to continue translating.

Psst He got 15 years

Want sauce with that?

King Cobra Kills Snake Lover

Remember Luke Yeomans a snake conservationist who was breeding the biggest king cobra colony in Europe? No? Well, never mind, he’s died after being bitten by one of them. The snake lover was about to open his king cobra sanctuary to the public this weekend but had a heart attack after one of the reptiles turned on him. RIP snake lover.

No Colorado, There Is No Poop Fairy

Attention people in Colorado, the Jefferson County would like to remind their residents that there is no “Poop Fairy” thank you very much! Meaning? Owners of dogs….clean up your own shit OK!!!

Honey, I Think He Likes You!

You can have her!!!!

Note to self, when going on a journey to a remote village in Papua New Guinea make sure you pack an arrow proof vest or you could be spending a great deal of time pulling friggin arrows out of your chest. Don’t believe me? Well just ask New Zealander Matt Scheurich who got pinged with a few of them after a Febi tribesman got the hots for his French girlfriend and wanted to marry her.Fortunately they had an emergency beacon that alerted a missionary air service and flew the injured couple to safety. Mr Scheurish had two arrows removed from his chest.

Want sauce with that?

Attention Loons

We break in normal transmission to announce the Friggin Loon will be broadcasting from Tasmania for the next few days.

Psst Does anyone know if they have internet connection?

From Dream To Nightmare

Leave me alone!!!

What? Seems Octomom is a tad stressed these days juggling 14 children. She told Touch mag “I hate my babies” and “my older six are animals” and the only way to cope is “to lock myself in the bathroom and cry”. Hmm, yeah, cause that will make it all go away! Even worse is the fact that Nadya Suleman has no money. Zip, nada, nil and has no idea how she will pay for food, schooling or the mortgage (hmm, might try American tax payers!). But on the bright side Suleman is considering dating. She claims she has never dated before and has been celibrate for 12 years (that’s right it was a sperm donor she used for her brood). Pity the fool who wants to take on her and the 14  others.

Page Not Found

There, that should do it, bullies!

The only good hackers  are the ones that shuts down al-Qaeda’s ability to communicate. Over the past few days unknown hackers have infiltrated the terrorist group internet system and through a string of sophisticated techniques brought the whole thing crashing down. Oh well, it’s back to camel carrier communication for you! Well down boys.

So I Did Hit Something!

You know you are really drunk when you hit a pedestrian walking along a highway and he lands in your passenger seat next to you and you don’t realize. James John Onak was pulled over by police in Houston, not far from the scene with a shattered windshield and the body of his victim inside the car. He told police he thought he had struck something but wasn’t sure what. The dead man was wearing a Subway uniform and was believed walking to a gas station after having car trouble.

Want sauce with that?

 

Facebook Song

Maddy Zammit from Adelaide has gone viral with this song …..