Flip Flop to the Crotch!

You know what I hate? When you get in a big old  argument with your hubby about those doing  the shopping and in your rage  you  chuck your flip flop at his penis and then YOU to end up  being  arrested for battery. I really friggin hate that! Not a good look on the resume either !

Want sauce with that?

Another Friggin Foot Washes Up In Canada!

OK, one foot washing up on the beach in Canada was acceptable ,  a dozen is just damn disturbing.  Yep, another friggin foot in a sneaker has been found floating along the shore, this time in Vancouver. Over the past 4 years there have been about 12 running shoes found on beaches between the southern Georgia Strait and Washington state,  each with a human foot inside. Only two of the feet have ever been identified and they belonged to two missing men. Hmm, I don’t want to do your job people but maybe it’s time you considered a serial killer?

Please make it stop

Here’s when they found foot #7

And here’s when they found #8

 

Emmanuel Kelly

Kleenex time Loons. A few days ago this young fellow decided to audition for X Factor Australia. Emmanuel Kelly, who is 17, started out life in an orphanage in Iraq. He and his brother had been found in a park, in a shoebox, abandoned most probably because  both had been born with severe birth defects, thanks to chemical warfare. Enter Moira Kelly, who originally flew them to Australia for surgery, but ended up adopting the two boys. This is his story and song ….

Psst You may recognize Moira Kelly,  she is the guardian of conjoined twins, Trishna and Krishna, who were successfully separated in 2009 after she found them in a Bangladesh orphanage.  Moira  heads the Children First Foundation and this is her story.

iScam

Whoopsie daisy. A woman in South Carolina was approached by two men outside McDonalds claiming to have cheap iPads for sale. Apparently they had purchased them in bulk and were selling them for $300. When Ashley McDowell told them she only had $180 they said that would do. You can kinda guess what happened next. Yep, when he got home she opened the FedEx box and found a lovely piece of wood painted with an Apple logo on it. Police are now looking for two black men (one with a gold tooth) driving a Impala with “no rims”.

I’m Here To Pick Up A Bag

Hold your horses Loons, we may have the winner for potential idiot of the year. Stand up and take a bow Patricia Lynette Wright, of Blenheim. She waltzed into a police station to claim her lost bag. Only prob, it contained 20 grams of cannabis. Bummer, now she has 6 months probation and counselling sessions for her troubles.

Hurricane Irene No Blockbuster

To all of you who bunkered down , bought batteries and copious amounts of bottled water….sorry. Invoices to Mayor Bloomberg.

No Thanks

Whoops, sorry!

Oh dear, a Spanish man who survived a terrible car crash decided to make a pilgrimage to the the “Virgin of Miracles” to say thank you but was killed on the way when a truck  plowed into the  pilgrims. The poor guy hadn’t even made 1km of the 30km walk when he was run down.

Justin Bieber Has Been Cyber Slapped

What the hell? I woke up this morning to get my daily dose of  Bieber and he’s gone! Yep, some bastard has managed to have all Justin Bieber’s videos removed from Youtube! Seriously folks, he’s been cyber slapped by iLCreation who is some nasty cyber bully enemy who submitted a copyright claim on every single Bieber song and so YouTube removed them all.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Dude That’s Friggin Poop

Yeah about that sea foam. It’s friggin sewage, fool! One of Hurricane Irene reporters, Tucker Barnes, spent several minutes describing the sea foam that continued to spray over him during the hurricane tropical storm. Turns out it was a toxic mix of pollution and cyanobacteria. Basically raw sewage, which would explain why “It doesn’t taste great,”

While You Were Sleeping

Quite pleased with himself!

OMG, it’s every woman’s nightmare. Crazy boyfriend decides to give his girlfriend a haircut, while she’s friggin sleeping. It all started when David Bustos and his girlfriend got into a spat and he stormed off. She wakes the next morning to find him shaving her head with electric clippers. No Bearman, I don’t have a photo of her!!!!