No Shit Sherlock

Attention all crooks in Sweden, if you plan to commit a crime, make sure you don’t leave a friggin pile of poop at the scene for the police to later DNA and link to you. Two robbers, who broke into a farm, tied up the owner and made off with money and a car now regret having taken a crap before setting the car alight. Tsk, tsk, I hope they wiped their bums!

 

Qantas is Back!!!

Qantas is back! Yep, Emu airlines, the fleet that refused to fly due to a squabble with unions has finally found its wings after leaving 22,000 passengers stranded around the world. So who is the winner out of all this, Qantas or the unions? Hmm, who the hell knows, they are all claiming some sort of victory. What I do know is who the losers are.  Firstly, the poor passengers who were used as pawns in this little ongoing battle, Australian tourism and the thousands of Australian Qantas staff who are more than likely going to see their jobs taken over by workers in Asia. There goes the “Spirit of Australia” right down the dunny.  As for  Fair Work Australia and the Unions, you might want to sleep with one eye open from now on because I suspect more big corporates will be following in Qantas’s footsteps. Poor union loving Gillard, now what?

No ID, No Whisky

OK, here’s the thing staff at One Stop Shop in Essex, if a 92 year old woman comes into your store to buy a bottle of whisky and she doesn’t have photo ID, damn straight don’t serve her. After pulling out her bus pass and blood donor card Great-grandmother Diane Taylor was  forced to go to another shop because “staff cannot sell alcohol without seeing proof of age.” Cruel, I know, but you can never be too careful.

I Hope It Lasts!

A big shout out to Hazi Abdul Noor who got married this weekend in India. Noor is 120 years of age and his blushing bride is 60. Hmm, I can pretty much guess who will be doing the chores around their place. The wedding was attended by over 500 guests, including Noor’s 6 kids who were estatic their dad has found a new wife. Probably so they don’t have to look after him any more.

Licorice Can Kill

Step away from the black licorice loons. The Food and Drug Administration are claiming that glycyrrhizin used to sweeten licorice can seriously mess with your heart if you eat too much. Heart palpitations, heart attacks and not to mention seriously black teeth can be a direct result of over indulging. That thing called Glycyrrhizin causes the kidneys to excrete potassium, leaving your body with lower levels of it, which will make your heart skip a beat or pound harder than a heavy metal drummer. Either way just put down those licorice allsorts  and have a Coke!

Is Hiding a Crack Pipe In A Bible a Sin?

OK, here’s the thing Tonya Sutton, walking down the street drinking from a container of malt liquor is eventually going to lead to police finding your crack pipe hidden your a Bible. I’m just saying!

Occupy Wall Street vs Occupy Perth

OK loons, on the world scale I think Occupy Perth pretty much fails. Hmm, so much for State of Excitement!!!

This is the Occupy Wall Street protestors ….

and these loons are Occupy Perth ones but  shh, they are asleep, you might wake them!!