Attention all crooks in Sweden, if you plan to commit a crime, make sure you don’t leave a friggin pile of poop at the scene for the police to later DNA and link to you. Two robbers, who broke into a farm, tied up the owner and made off with money and a car now regret having taken a crap before setting the car alight. Tsk, tsk, I hope they wiped their bums!
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!
Qantas is back! Yep, Emu airlines, the fleet that refused to fly due to a squabble with unions has finally found its wings after leaving 22,000 passengers stranded around the world. So who is the winner out of all this, Qantas or the unions? Hmm, who the hell knows, they are all claiming some sort of victory. What I do know is who the losers are. Firstly, the poor passengers who were used as pawns in this little ongoing battle, Australian tourism and the thousands of Australian Qantas staff who are more than likely going to see their jobs taken over by workers in Asia. There goes the “Spirit of Australia” right down the dunny. As for Fair Work Australia and the Unions, you might want to sleep with one eye open from now on because I suspect more big corporates will be following in Qantas’s footsteps. Poor union loving Gillard, now what?
OK, here’s the thing staff at One Stop Shop in Essex, if a 92 year old woman comes into your store to buy a bottle of whisky and she doesn’t have photo ID, damn straight don’t serve her. After pulling out her bus pass and blood donor card Great-grandmother Diane Taylor was forced to go to another shop because “staff cannot sell alcohol without seeing proof of age.” Cruel, I know, but you can never be too careful.
A big shout out to Hazi Abdul Noor who got married this weekend in India. Noor is 120 years of age and his blushing bride is 60. Hmm, I can pretty much guess who will be doing the chores around their place. The wedding was attended by over 500 guests, including Noor’s 6 kids who were estatic their dad has found a new wife. Probably so they don’t have to look after him any more.
Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never
Step away from the black licorice loons. The Food and Drug Administration are claiming that glycyrrhizin used to sweeten licorice can seriously mess with your heart if you eat too much. Heart palpitations, heart attacks and not to mention seriously black teeth can be a direct result of over indulging. That thing called Glycyrrhizin causes the kidneys to excrete potassium, leaving your body with lower levels of it, which will make your heart skip a beat or pound harder than a heavy metal drummer. Either way just put down those licorice allsorts and have a Coke!
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary
OK, here’s the thing Tonya Sutton, walking down the street drinking from a container of malt liquor is eventually going to lead to police finding your crack pipe hidden your a Bible. I’m just saying!
OK loons, on the world scale I think Occupy Perth pretty much fails. Hmm, so much for State of Excitement!!!
This is the Occupy Wall Street protestors ….
and these loons are Occupy Perth ones but shh, they are asleep, you might wake them!!
Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never
Nice one Mr Joyce, take a $2 million dollar pay rise and then shut down the entire fleet at QANTAS indefinitely. Alan Joyce announced the groundings would take place immediately due to major disputes with unions, who are angry that the airline is trying to shift the best part of the airline to Asia. Thanks unions, thanks Mr Joyce, between both you greedy entities, the only ones set to suffer are the Australian public who have done nothing but support the Flying Kangaroo. Shame on all of you!
Psst And where, pray tell, is Ms Gillard ?
Hey loons, guess who got to meet the Queen? OK, she wouldn’t friggin look at me so I had to regurgitate on her hat, but I did see her. Yep, I was one of the friggin 100,000 herded into Perth for her grand finale. Oh and what fond memories we shall have, for it was right here in Perth “State of Excitement” she made the historic decision to throw out that silly little sexist 300 year old rule about the heir to the British throne always going to a Royal son. Now it’s any first born, boy or girl. Sheez, that was worth the $37 million it cost to host her and the CHOGM crowd.
Why won't you look over here????
A little while later as her motorcade whizzed off to the airport I got another fantastic photo …
Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never
What on earth would possess Ortrud Kastaun, from Germany, to collect friggin clowns? Dear god, get Stephen King on the phone we have a nightmare in the making. Kastaun has just landed herself in the Guinness Book of Records for having the largest clown collection in the world. She has so friggin many of the creepy creatures she had to move to a bigger house (hope it has a panic room lady!!!). Kastaun, a recovering alcoholic, credits her 2,053 creepy figurines on helping her stay sober.Seriously? I’d be sleeping with one eye open and maybe a baseball bat if I were you! Wanna see the collection? Click here if you dare!
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never
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