Monthly Archives: November 2011

911 Is Not A Santa Hotline

Hello, Santa please.

Hmm, I know two little snowflakes who might not get a visit from Santa this year. The two tikes, 4 and 6 rang 911 and asked to speak to either the police chief or Santa Claus.  Sadly, they didn’t get their wish but instead they got a nice little visit from a New York policeman, followed by a nice long lecture.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

What’s On The Shoplifters List This Christmas

Attention shoplifters, wondering what to steal this Christmas? Worry no longer, here’s this year’s top ten list .

Nikes (the standard classic), expensive perfume (for regifting purposes), Let’s Rock Elmo (absolutely), Ralph Lauren polo shirts (always fashionable), brand deodorant (why?), Gillette Mach 4 (the best a man can be), iphone 4 (duh!), power tools (including electric toothbrushes), Alcohol (whiskey preferred)…. and at number 1…drum roll please…the most common item stolen during the festive season is “luxury meat”  like fillet mignon.

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Second Racist Rant

From the same people who bought you the “racist rant on a tram” comes the second installment. Yes indeedy, another woman has also been filmed hurling abuse at passengers, this time on a train in England.

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Kidnapper Sues Hostages

Heed this warning, people who get taken as hostages, never, ever make a verbal deal with a murder suspect  even if he offers you lots and lots of money. In 2009 Jared and Lindsay Rowley were lalala-ing in their Kansas home when Jesse Dennis Dimmick burst in  with a knife and begged them to hide him for an unspecific amount of money. Not having much choice they agreed,but the second Dimmick dozed off, they bolted. Fast forward 3 years and the Rowley’s are being sued by Dimmick for $235,000 because they broke their verbal agreement to hide him. Seems he got shot by the SWAT team after the Rowley’s fled and he wants them to foot the medical bills. The Rowleys meanwhile want $75,000 for the emotional stress caused by the fool.

Psst I think this is a case for Judge Judy!!!

2nd Psst Thanks to Susi Spice for the heads up.

Want sauce with that?

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

AIDS joke fail

OK, here’s the thing lady, don’t jokingly tell the man you just slept with that you have AIDS or he might just go and get his 12 gauge shotgun from the closet and shoot you in the head, making you deaf in one ear. I’m just saying. Lloyd Wilkins has no sense of humor.

Leave a comment

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Stink Ink

My, that is large!

Oh my, a warning to anyone who allows “artist discretion” when getting a tattoo. Make sure he doesn’t tattoo a big pile of steaming dog poo on your back with flies buzzing around it. I’m just saying! Poor Rossie Brovent from Ohio asked her then tattoo artist boyfriend to tattoo a scene from the Narnia trilogy on her back, unaware that he had discovered she had cheated on him with his best friend. Hmm, now she has a big pile of excrement for her troubles. She is now suing him.

Psst Wasn’t that a scene from Narnia? Hmm, maybe not!

16 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Well I Never

Dr Conrad Murray Get The Maximum

I’m betting Dr Conrad Murray wishes he could take some propofol with him where he’s going. Sheez, 4 years huh? Should have cried more!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Are You Insane?

Cuckoo!!!

The lacoste wearing Norweigian serial killer who is Anders Behring Breivik has been deemed ….. wait for it …. mentally insane. Seriously? Seems his bomb attack and then murder spree, which left 77 people dead and 151 injured, was triggered by paranoid schizophrenia. So that means no prison for him, just a psychiatric hospital. Oh goodie, so he will have an unblemished record when he’s released.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Joran Van Der Sloot Fan Club

Membership 1. Oh for crying out loud, a female radiologist in the US, has taken suspected murderer Joran Vander Sloot under her protective wing. Mary Hamer from Florida, believes the poor boy is suffering Post Traumatic Stress due to the notoriety the first “unsolved” crime (Natalee Holloway) drew… “He has been beaten up and attacked by rich, middle-age Americans who have slandered him all over the world. There have been multiple civil rights violations made against this poor young man.”. Hmm, yeah, and what about the rights of Stephany Flores???? Hamer, who pays for Joran’s legal fees and sends him care packages says she is Joran’s “civil rights advocate, spiritual guide, and guardian angel.” Hmm, go sell crazy somewhere else lady. Hamer, who has already visited Joran twice in the Peruvian prison, believes he should be receiving medical treatment for his post traumatic stress. Seriously, if Joran was suffering post traumatic stress the last thing he would be doing  was trying to extort money from Beth Twitty in order to fund his  gambling habits in Peru.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Day Care Bunny Found

Dude, stealing a rabbit called Twinkle from a church day care center is no way to go through life. Theodore Benner, a 20 year old uni student, was charged with burglary  after police were called to Benner’s dorm room following a medical call and a seriously observant officer noticed a rabbit fitting Twinkle’s description. During the search the cops also found Benner’s stash of marijuana.

Want sauce with that?

10 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never