Our Prices Are Sofa King Low

Sofa King what!

Hmm, seems the UK advertising watchdog the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) have a problem with this British furniture retailer’s ad and have banned them from using their offensive catchy phrase “Our prices are Sofa King low”. Hmm, not very quick off the mark,  Sofa King have been using the slogan for 9 years.

RIP Davy Jones

Davy Jones the actor and musician who became famous for his role in the wacky TV series The Monkees and for taking Marcia Brady to the school dance has died at the age of 66 from a  suspected heart attack. Davy Jones started his acting career on the English TV show Coronation Street as Ena Sharple’s grandson in 1961. For a short time he left acting to train to be a jockey but he soon found himself returning to the stage in the musical Oliver. In 1965 Jones big break came in the surprisingly successful US show the Monkees, as the lead singer of the Beatles inspired band. In his later years he continued to sing and act. Hey, hey ….

So This Is What It’s Finally Come To?

Owners at an Ohio apartment complex are so pissed at residents who fail to pick up their dogs doo-doo they are using DNA testing to find the culprits. Yes indeedy, the offending feces will be scooped up and sent to the  ‘Poo Prints’ DNA program for identification and then the owners will then be fined $200. Pity the fool with that job!

Erectile Dysfunction Supplement Recalled

You know what I hate? When a Erectile dysfunction supplement is recalled. Sorry guys the single-capsule RegenErect dietary supplement contains an unapproved drug called tadalafil. Hmm, how’s about a game of Scrabble?

Psst Do you pronounce it tadalafil or tada-la-fil?

That Old Black Magic

Did you hear something?

If you live in Namibia be on the look out for a dog-pig hybrid creature that is scaring the crap out of the locals. The mutant is described as mostly white, with a doglike head, hairless back and the shoulders of a giant pig. If you see it , RUN!!! One official told the local newspaper “This is an alien animal that the people have not seen before. We don’t have a forest here, only bushes. So, this must be black magic at play.” Yep, must be. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sleep with one eye open!

Say What?

And the worst quote of the week goes to the U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, who said this week that the war on drugs in Mexico “is not a failure.” Sheez, what was she on?

Here’s A Stat That Should Scare You

US National Research Council (NRC) says that on average there should be 91 deaths per year from asteroid strikes. Hmm, might explain some of the missing people!

Wish You Were Here

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just a little note to say thank you for the cruise to the Seychelles as I know how much you guys worried when you realized the ship was from the same fleet as the Costa Concordia. But no need to fret, we have avoided the reefs. Last night I smelled what I thought was a barbeque but it turned out to be a fire in the engine room. The captain turned off all the lights so we decided to play hide and seek with our emergency torches. That was so much fun. Tonight the captain wants us to play spot the pirate ships from the deck which I am really looking forward to. The water has been rather choppy so I have avoided eating, which is great because I think I have lost a few pounds and anywho they are only serving dry bread and crackers because they don’t want us getting sick from the food going off in the refrigerators. I tell you this crew are so thoughtful. Evidently we will be floating adrift for a few days so we can experience some uncharted territories. If we are lucky we may even get to see some elusive Somali pirates.I am avoiding using my phone to text you so I have enough battery life to take a few photos of them. I sure hope they look like Johnny Depp. OK, I better go as it is my turn to use the bucket. Evidently the toilets don’t work without power. Who knew? Oh and mom and dad, don’t bother picking me up at the terminal, I might be a few weeks late.

xx

Want sauce with that?

German Chancellor Wears 4 Beers

Oh my, a German waiter did a whoopsie and ended up spilling 4 beers down the back of German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s neck, coat, back and hair.The unfortunate waiter then topped off the incident by saying “shit”. Sheez, if he did that in 1944, he’d be goose stepping to hell.

John Hinckley Unhappy With Public’s Perception

Remember John Hinckley the guy who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan? Yeah well, apparently he isn’t happy that people only think of him as the guy who tried to kill the president.Hmm, well I always thought of you as the nutter who was trying to impress Jodie Foster, if that helps? Anywho, Hinckley, who resides in a mental hospital, has been dabbling in music and painting and is frustrated by the public’s perception  “I’m an artist. I’m a musician. Nobody knows that. They just see me as the guy who tried to kill Reagan,” Hmm, yep, pretty much!