Happy April Fools Day

Hey psst Loons, it’s April 1st so be on the look out for jokesters, pass it on.

Hitler’s Parents Grave Now Available

Anyone want to share a grave with Hitler’s parents? Evidently one of the relis no longer wants to pay the lease on the site for Alois and Klara Hitler, which means it’s up for grabs. The elderly woman who had been paying the lease said she was too old to care for it and tired of it “being used for manifestations of sympathy” for Hitler. Seems those pesky little Neo Nazis just won’t stop leaving flowers and Nazi messages there. Thanks a friggin lot son!!!!

Fourth Shark Fatality

Maybe not!!!

Feet up Perth. Another shark attack, this time near Busselton. So far there have been four fatal shark attacks off the West Australian coast in less than a year. Why can’t I stop the Jaws theme playing in my head?

Batman Downgrades To A Lamborghini Batmobile

Even Batman isn’t above the law…. Na na na na na na

Books You Shouldn’t Read In Public

It’s that time of year again when they announce the winner of the Oddest Book Title of the year….so drum roll please, the winner is …Cooking With Poo. Settle down, it’s a Thai cookbook and “poo” is Thai for crab and also the nickname of the author. Runners up were The Great Singapore Penis Panic and Mr. Andoh’s Pennine Diary: Memoirs of a Japanese Chicken Sexer in 1935 Hebden Bridge.

Worst Quote Of The Week

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Outrageous Fortune

Hands up US loons, who has bought a $640 million lottery ticket? Seriously, that is an outrageous amount of money. I hear the White House has bought hundreds thousands of tickets.

Oh My, Don’t You Look Pretty?

Let me just say there is nothing  less appealing than a Taliban militant dressed in women’s clothing (sorry Mega, but there’s not) , especially when they don’t shave . Hmm, but that’s what those little friggin terrorists are resorting to, to get closer to Allied forces. OMG, that’s so embarrassing. There definitely won’t to be 72 virgins waiting for YOU!!!

Want to see one pretty in pink?

Fiona

Glab your Kleenex loons…..

I’m A Prostitute Thanks To McDonalds

Holy frivolous lawsuit Batman. A woman in the US is suing McDonald’s because she claims their crappy wages and pathetic worker support forced her into a life of prostitution. Oh and by the way she is also suing her ex hubby who was the owner of the store in which she worked and who later sacked her. Hmm, so in her suit she claims she was wrongfully sacked and that the action forced her to seek employment in a brothel. Oh wait there’s more, she also claims McDonald’s crappy overall management allowed hubby to operate a prostitution service from his franchise. The best bit is she married her hubby AFTER she started working as a prostitute. Come on, come on, please let Judge Judy get the case….pleeeeaaaassssse!!!!

Want sauce with that?