Savador Dali Painting Express Mailed Back

Hey Loons, remember the Salvador Dali painting that was nicked a few weeks ago off the wall of a New York gallery? Well, blow me down if it hasn’t been returned via Express Mail…from Europe!!!! Sheez, nothing worse than a friggin indecisive art thief.

Psst Hmm, might want to check they haven’t got the forgery.

Can You Guess?

OK loons, whack on your thinking caps and see if you can guess what this photo is all about.

Reuters

It’s China’s first female astronaut , Liu Yang,  and her buddies. They have just spent 13 days orbiting the Earth in the dodgy contraption behind them. This is their official photo op. Fortunately they had more sense than to try and trick us into believing this is a shot of them on the moon!!!

Psst Is that a friggin esky cooler in the background? Sheez, they took beer too?

The Grossest Thing You Will See All Day

Look away sensitive loons, what I am about to tell you is downright gross. A man in India had a 5 inch long wriggling worm extracted from his eyeball. That’s about 15cm people!!!! The docs aren’t sure where the parasite originally entered from a cut in his foot or from him eating raw food. Ewh. Not grossed out enough there is a video!!!

When Chimpanzees Go Wild

An American University student is in a critical condition in a South African hospital after two chimpanzees grabbed the man’s legs from under a perimeter fence and dragged him into their enclosure. The animal sanctuary houses abused and misplaced chimps. The man was taking a group of people on a tour when the incident happened.

TomKat Lawyer Up For The Big D

A shocked sheep

Oh my. I woke up this morning to discover Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are heading for the big D. Didn’t see that coming and evidently neither did Tom. Seems Katie doesn’t want Suri involved in the big S and will be fighting for sole custody. Hmm, good luck with THAT!

Psst All I can say is run young Hollywood starlets, Tom will soon be cruising for a new Stepford wife.

Introducing The Miss Holocaust Survivor Competition

So I thought I might wear my …oh wait

OMG, is it me or is having a “Miss Holocaust Survivor” competition kinda bad taste? The new comp sees 14 WWII survivors vying for the crown. The winner is judged on their personal stories of survival and how they have rebuilt their lives after the war. Only a small component is based on their looks!!!! Despite criticism the event has attracted over 300 women aged between 74 to 97 .

Well That Takes The Cake!

Who’s there?

OMG, Michigan are installing talking urinal cakes in pubs in their never ending fight against drunk drivers. That’s right guys, when you step up to a urinal cake it will play a recorded message reminding you to catch a cab or grab a lift with a friend if you are pissed. I’m not sure if you have to actually pee on it to activate it!!!!

Psst What would be cooler is if you pissed on it and it gave you your blood alcohol reading.

Irony Of The Week

Kleenex-brand Luxury Foam Hand Sanitizer has been recalled due to bacterial contamination.

Jesus Goes Out For Chinese Takeaway

The dude is back and this time he has been spotted outside the Mayho Chinese Takeaway in Massachusetts. Not sure if he was after an eggroll or whether he was checking out St Luke’s Church across the road.

So Very Joe Pesci

You know you are living a crazy complicated life when you get caught trying to hire a hit man to bump off another hit man who killed your wife.