Bearman, Have You Heard?

WWE Stage Catches Fire in Cincinnati . Hmm, I hope this doesn’t ruin your plans Bearman?

UPDATE No fear, it was just a little charring.

Might Want To Cancel Travel Plans To Uganda

Just when you thought it was safe to go to Uganda, officials have announced another deadly outbreak of the Ebola virus. So far the contagious disease has claimed 14 lives. If you happen to be in the vicinity here’s what to do, avoid shaking hands, casual sex or do-it-yourself burials because it’s  transmitted by close contact and there is NO treatment.

Granny Gets Maced

When an elderly disabled man stopped his car outside the Home Depot store (blocking a bit of the road) to let out his elderly disabled wife, some nasty woman drove passed, screaming abuse. Not being completely content scaring the crap out of the frail couple, she continued her tirade  after parking her car. Oh it didn’t stop there. The woman then pulled out a can of pepper spray and let the elderly woman have it in the face before fleeing. Fortunately, the public helped police to track down the culprit and arrest her. Hmm, well maybe she will move faster getting out of the car next time (kidding people, kidding!!!).

 

What’s An Olympics Without Accusations of Doping

Here’s the thing Chinese female swimmer, if you smash your personal best by more than 5 seconds and swim faster that the men’s number 1 to claim a gold medal, expect all eyebrows to be raised. 16 year old Ye Shiwen is under attack after what many coaches say is an “unbelievable” 400m individual medley world record. There has now been a call for an investigation into the Chinese, not just for doping but for the use of genetic manipulation. Seriously, is it that important to win a silly medal and destroy your country’s reputation?

G-String Wearing Seal

One little seal in New Zealand is relieved to have been freed from an embarrassing situation…a g-string tangled around its neck. Ironically the poor little tyke had been frolicking around Lover’s Leap cliffs in  Otago when it came face to face with the disused garment (probably smelled like ….oh never mind) . Anywho, a ranger eventually came to its rescue.

Random Steals India’s Spotlight

I noticed the random walking proudly next to the befuddled Indian athletes  as they entered the stadium  and thought “Wow, their women’s uniforms are crap.” Hmm, seems the gatecrasher was suppose to be a dancer in the earlier part of the opening but thought she ‘d have better luck being noticed by security breaching. Hmm, nice to know the British security is on the ball.

American National Anthem Fail

Oh dear , Star Mangled Banner …

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch

OK, one more time people, do not and I repeat, DO NOT stick a firecracker between your butt cheeks and set it off because  that’s an airlifting straight to hospital right there. The Darwin man now has severe burns to the butt , back and genitals and probably a massive fear of farting.

Russian Cowgirl

Thank goodness, her teeth hurt!!!

A little 5 year old “feral” girl who can only communicate by mooing has been discovered in Russia living with a herd of cows . Police were called to a property in the Ural mountains after concerned locals noticed her and  found the mooing child AND the parents who apparently let her live amongst the bovine.

For Trivial Pursuit Purposes

Oh, if you were wondering who played the Queen’s stunt double during the helicopter scene at the London Olympics, it was a stuntman called Gary.