Well, Isn’t That Ironic

Police in Louisville arrested a man they believe  stole a book about ETHICS and then tried to sell it at another bookstore.

London Olympics

Did any other sucker wake up at 3.30 to watch the opening ceremony of the London Olympics? Probably not! Anywho, I did and, regrets, I have a few. I thought  everything was either way too long or way too short and self indulgent for my liking.  Did Beckham boat it from Ireland, it took for friggin EVER? The best part was Mr Bean messing with Vangelis  and the Queen bailing from a helicopter with 007. And as for no mention of Elton John ….disgraceful.

As the for the Australian Lawn Bowlers they were a tad unruly. Hmmm, probably got restless waiting , waiting, waiting….

Deadly Pet Escapes

Feet up Queenslanders, there is a King Cobra on the loose on the Gold Coast. Veteran snake catcher Tony Harrison received an anonymous call from a bloke concerned his escaped snake would attack someone. Initially Mr Harrison thought he was talking about a King Brown but the caller corrected him.  Oh for crying out loud , haven’t we got enough scary wildlife down under?

Psst Might want to sleep with both eyes open!!!

Well That Stinks

OMG, workers at a San Francisco rail station had to call in a hazardous materials team after dismantling a broken escalator and finding piles and piles of human feces.  Officials say human poo and urine are the main cause of escalator breakdowns , because the homeless people use the stairwell as a toilet when the station is closed.

 

Honey, I Think This Maybe A Revised Addition?

Holy Gideon Bible Batman.  A hotel in England has ditched the standard “Bible in the bedside draw ” for the mommy porn steamy novel Fifty Shades of Grey on the nightstand. The local vicar is not amused stating “The Bible remains a source of comfort and inspiration that many people do find helpful.” Hmm, some could argue the same for Fifty Shades.

Team Who Gives A Hoot

An extremely tight lipped Kristen Stewart who refuses to talk about ANYTHING personal suddenly tells the world she has cheated …. give me a break….  PUBLICITY STUNT !!!

Psst Now I have to wade through piles and piles of this Kstew cheating crap to find other crap to write about!!!! Sheez.

You Tweet!

Imagine training for years and years to qualify for the Olympics only to have your dreams shattered by a tweet. Introducing Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou. She tweeted this “with so many Africans in Greece, at least the mosquitoes of West Nile will eat homemade food” and now has been booted off the Olympic team. Hmm, that will be something to tell the grandkids!

The One That Got Away

My dreams are shattered

It’s official , Kim Jong Um is off the market ladies. After weeks of rumors that the mysterious woman, following the Supreme leader around like a sheep, was his sister, it has been confirmed it’s his missus Ri Sol-ju. Yes, the tubby dictator is married. New rumors are now circulating that his Supreme house wife is none other than Hyon Song-wol, an ex girlfriend that his daddy hated and subsequently forced Ummy to dump.

Quote of the Week

OK, I’m not sure when or even IF Jennifer Love Hewitt actually said this but …..

“My hips have always been big. I remember thinking at one point, ‘I know: I’ll get my hips lipo’d off!’ You can’t, it’s bone.”

East River Monster Alert

OK, I don’t want to alarm you loons, but look what just washed up from the East River in New York!!!! It looks awfully like Satan’s handiwork, despite the New York City Parks department claiming it to be a pig. Last time I looked pigs had trotters not friggin Freddy Krueger claws. The Gawker are proclaiming it to be a subway rat but I suspect something more sinister!!!!