Monthly Archives: August 2012

Now I Got Bacteria On My Butt!!!!

Stephen Shen, Taiwan’s environmental minister, wants men to friggin sit down when they go for a leak in public toilets. Seriously, you guys couldn’t hit the hole if you tried!!! Anywho, he has suggested that men sit on the toilet seat rather than stand so the next bloke doesn’t have to shoot around the mess .  One person on a Taiwanese forum posted “I’d love to see Stephen Shen and (President) Ma Ying-jeou demonstrate on TV how to sit down to pee,” Hmm, next there will be calls to put the friggin lid down.

Psst I bet it was his wife’s idea.

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Fallout From Penn State Continues

Oh my, Neil Diamond’s song Sweet Caroline has been erased from Penn State football games playlist. Seems in  the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal the lyrics “touching me, touching you”  are now deemed a tad inappropriate.

10 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Unluckiest Bastard Award

The award for the unluckiest bastard of the week goes to the Ugandan thief who stole a cell phone from a Ebola virus patient . Dear lord, you are a fool.

Psst Yes, of course he now has it.

4 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Dude?

A cross dressing bandit has held up a gas station in Geelong, Melbourne. Police say he was wearing  “fake nails, blue eye shadow, red lipstick and black stockings” and  had “demanded cash and cigarettes in a manly voice.” If you recognize him,  be kind and don’t tease him.

Bless!!!

20 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, You Go Girl!

Something To Tell The Grandkids

Oh to be young and married to a Canadian senator. Sheez, I bet poor Rod Zimmer (69) was wishing for another midlife crisis rather than  a midair one, when he and his wife Maygan Sensenberger (23…no typo!) got into an enormous row on an Air Canada flight. Between the screaming Maygan threatened to take down the plane. Hmm, that’s gonna get ya a date with the judge little missy. I’m guessing the honeymoon is over, eh?

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

So What Do You Think?

OMG, a Spanish pensioner in her 80s decided she’d surprise her priest by attempting to restore a 19th century fresco in the local church. Shame she actually didn’t know how to paint. Check out her seriously blotched DIY job …

10 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !

Puppeteer Jerry Nelson Departs

Sad to report that puppeteer Jerry Nelson has died. OK, you are probably thinking who? Jerry was the voice of Sesame Street’s Count von Count. RIP Jerry Nelson.

8 Comments

Filed under End Credit

I’m Not Lion

Feet up people in Essex, seems there is a friggin lion on the loose. Yes, you heard me LION! Witnesses say they saw the beast roaming the area and the thing even roared. One petrified person sprinted passed a group of people screaming “It’s a f**king lion”. All zoos say their lions are accounted for so police are now trying to locate circuses. So loons, if you see a big tan cat with a mane near the village of St Osyth, please don’t pat it.

Psst Maybe he’s a TOWIE fan…hmm, or maybe NOT?

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Fifty Shades of Shut the Hell Up

I don’t know which is worse, having to face your neighbors after having had very, very  noisy sex or having to face court after being charged under the Environmental Protection Act for your loud canoodling. The couple will be the first in South Australia to be charged with this type of offense, after police were called out over 20 friggin times…. since April….by very disgruntled neighbors.

Psst Environmental Protection Act LOL!!! I’m sure the wildlife didn’t care!!!

 

22 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

RIP Neil Armstrong

The first man to set foot on the Moon has died from heart surgery complications at 82.  Neil Armstrong, who commanded the Apollo 11, will be most remembered for his first words as he stepped from the spacecraft onto the moon “That’s one small step for  man, one giant leap for mankind,” . Rest in peace.

15 Comments

Filed under End Credit