Monthly Archives: September 2012

A $65 Million Loveless Marriage Anyone?

OK men loons, line up, line up, we have a challenge. A Hong Kong tycoon is offering $65 million for any MAN who can win the heart of his lesbian daughter. One of the biggest probs will be prying her out of the arms of her same sex partner who she recently married in France. AND no, Gigi is quite the looker. Seems daddy is horrified at his daughter’s personal choices and is hoping that there is a man out there girl enough to win her heart. Good luck with that!

Psst I’m guessing Chaz Bono  is out of the question?

9 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, You Go Girl!

Fish Fingers

If you lose some fingers while wakeboarding in a Lake in Idaho  you go might want to ask a trout for them back. An unlucky fisherman found Haans Galassi’s fingers in the belly of a trout he’d caught while fishing in Priest Lake two months after the unfortunate incident. Probably tasted like chicken. The fingerprints were later matched to the wakeboarder.

Psst Seriously, a man named Haans loses his fingers?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Free Rabid Kitties

Oh for crying out loud, attention all loons who patted, cuddled or have one of the six five kittens that were given away at an Atlanta  WalMart parking lot  a few weeks back.  Seems those cute little fluff balls are more like rabid spawns of hell. Yes, you heard me, they have friggin rabies. One of the kitties has been put down but there are 5 foaming felines still out there. Step away from the kitty!!!!

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Honey, You Have Something in Your Hair

Oh my, an Amusement Park in the UK, has decided to breathalyser all riders after an increase in upchucking. Wait for these frightening stats. Evidently in the past 7 days there has been a 250% increase in rides being shutdown due to projectile vomit incidents (mainly from drunk or hungover students).  Dear lord, pass me the gloves and a bucket of sand. Gross.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

He Won’t Be Doing That Again

You know what I hate? When you see a car idling in a ditch with the windshield wipers on and decide to look for something to steal from it and find a dead body in the trunk. I really friggin hate that!!! Hmm, apparently so does the dude from Houston who discovered a man with a bullet hole in the head after he attempted to steal the speakers.

4 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

The Key To Men Living Longer Lives

Hey guys, want to live longer? Scientists have found the key to men extending their life expectancy by up to 15 years. OK, sure it involves a bit of cutting and pain but hey, think of all the extra fun things you can do while your mates are ten feet under.So I bet you are dying to know the secret. OK, ready? The key to living a way longer life is …. become a Eunuch.  Yep, you heard me, castration is the answer to a longer life. Hmm, so says scientists who have been studying Korean Eunuchs. Seems it’s all those male sex hormones that are slowly whittling away your life.

16 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Australia Pays $40 Million For UN Seat Bid

Prime Minister Julia Gillard confirmed that Australia had committed $26 million to the bid for one of 10 non permanent seats on UN Security Council , despite reports the total cost has blown out to almost $40 million.
So do you bid for a seat or pay for it? Supposedly the members are chosen by regional groups but it sounds more like they are being bribed to me!!!! So lets get this straight, if there are 10 non permanent seats available and each country “bids” @ say  $26 million, that’s a nice little paycheck for the UN. Which is probably why  “Some foreign officials have likened the security council process to a diplomatic version of the failed World Cup soccer bid.”

I assume Aussie taxpayers won’t get their money back if we don’t get a seat…. even if we send a strongly worded letter.

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Boxing Legend Corrie Sanders Murdered

The world is mourning the death of South African boxing legend Corrie Sanders (46) who was gunned down while celebrating his nephew’s 21st birthday party at a Pretoria restaurant. The ex heavy weight boxer who won 46 of his 50 bouts was unfortunately the victim of a botched robbery. Witnesses say he was the only one shot when men carrying pistols burst into a restaurant and demanded money and valuables from the customers.
Sports stars have not only expressed words of sympathy over the senseless killing but many have used this opportunity to highlight South Africa’s increasing crime rate.

3 Comments

Filed under End Credit

Stop Wriggling!!!

What do we have here then?

Doctors and nurses at a New Zealand hospital are stilled gathered around the water cooler whispering about a man who rocked up to emergency on the weekend with a short finned eel stuck up his bottom. No loons, they have no idea how it got there but they do have their theories!!!!

7 Comments

Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

%%%% Apologies

The culprit, Tuck!!!!

Sorry to all the Loons who got a page load of this %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

My cat sat on my computer while I went to make a coffee and somehow managed to post it. Clever kitty.

 

22 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife