Monthly Archives: October 2012

Josef Fritzl is Single

Back on the market

Remember Josef Fritzl, the Austrian man who fathered seven children with his daughter after he  locked her up in a dungeon for 24 years and continually raped her ? Yeah, that creep. Well, he’s just divorced his wife Rosemarie because she never visited him in prison. Ewh, they were probably conjugal visits? Seems he has also been writing her letters to which she never replied. I’m guessing she is still rather peeved about his shenanigans.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Mourn or Die

No one puts Kim Jong Il in the corner!!! One of North Korea’s senior military men was executed in spectacular form for drinking during the 100 day mourning of Dear Leader. Kim Chol was forced to stand on a designated spot before being blown to kingdom come by a mortar round.  Seems Kim Jung Un has been systematically killing removing senior officials of their duties in a clean up operation.

9 Comments

Filed under Kim Jong Um, That's Gotta Hurt

You Are Not My Beautiful Wife

A man in China has successfully divorced and sued his wife for $120,000 for being ugly. The whole thing began unraveling when a much in love Jian Feng and his wife had a baby….an extremely ugly baby. Feng, who was absolutely horrified by the look of the bub, suspected his wife had cheated on him. When he confronted her he discovered the inconvenient truth. His beautiful wife had spent $100,000 on intense plastic surgery before they had met. Yep, she’d been fugly as. Feng was floored and decided not only to divorce her but sue her for marrying him under false pretences. The judge sympathized with Feng and he won the case.

Psst Hmm, if she could spend $100,000 on surgery she must have been a ugly and RICH.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Is Killer Targeting Pregnant Women?

Holy Patricia Cornwall Batman, seems New York police maybe hunting a serial killer who is targeting pregnant women. A frightening scenario is emerging after a note was found under the body of a pregnant woman who had been murdered the day before her wedding. In the note the killer is threatening  to murder one pregnant woman every month until the “D.C. Sniper” is released. Yes, that’s right, he’s talking about Lee Boyd Malvo, the guy who murdered 10 people in Washington D.C. by shooting people from the trunk of his car. Police haven’t ruled out, however, that the note is merely a ruse to distract them from the investigation. Evidence suggests that the killer knew his victim as there was no forced entry. There is also a bloody fingerprint on the note.

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Better Sex In The City

Seriously, AND you still can’t find it?

Oh for crying out loud, the latest female fad to hit LA is having a “G-spot” injection. Which basically means having your G-spot pumped with collagen (doubling its size) so you can have better orgasms. Seems the $1600 jab is a massive hit and can be done during your lunch break.

6 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Mommy, That Isn’t Marty the Zebra

OK, I really shouldn’t laugh but a cinema in the US accidentally mixed up Madagascar 3 with Paranormal Activity 4 , resulting in pack of screaming snowflakes and their parents running for their lives. As luck would have it the most terrifying scene of the movie is right at the beginning, when a body flies straight at the camera. Well, that would have certainly made them spill their slushies and popcorn. Good luck getting those kiddies to sleep EVER!!!

Psst No word on how many horror fans were scarred watching Madagascar 3!!!!

7 Comments

Filed under Whoops!

A Wedding Planner’s Epic Fail

Whoopsie. A wedding planner for a five-star country house hotel in England accidentally forwarded an email to her client which was intended for her manager only …. it read

‘Hi Carlo,

I need your advice on this wedding, I know this probably doesn’t sound very nice, but I am trying to put this wedding off as I don’t think they are the type of people that we would want to have at Stoke Park.
I spoke to the bride yesterday as she was enquiring about availability, and I have put her off for now by telling her the dates that she is looking at are not available, but she has asked me if I can get back to her with available dates around the end of June beginning of July 2013

Help!!!’

Seems the wedding planner wasn’t at all thrilled with the couple. The bride-to-be, who was left in a flood of tears, believes the five star hotel didn’t want their £10,000 business because the groom had an eyebrow piercing and two small earrings. Either that or it was age difference, the bride is 27 and the groom 51.  The bride-to-be is a law graduate and drug and alcohol counsellor while  the groom  works as an engineer for the Ministry of Defence.

Want sauce with that?

6 Comments

Filed under Well I Never, Whoops!

Umbrella vs Chainsaw

What do you do when your roomie cuts through your door with a chainsaw after you had the locks changed on your house? You grab your damn umbrella and run, then hope to hell the saw catches your shirt and gets jammed, so you can pin him down with your umbrella. That’s what a 76 year old Pennsylvania man did.  There is a year worth of nightmares, right there!!!!

Want sauce with that?

9 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, Well I Never

Lance Armstrong Will Be Hard To Erase

The International Cycling Union in Geneva will erase every single one of Lance Armstrong’s cycling records.The titles for the Tour de France from 1999-2005 will now officially remain blank. The president of the International Cycling Union Pat McQuaid said in the press conference “He deserves to be forgotten in cycling,”

UPDATE : Lance Armstrong just removed mention of his 7 Tour de France wins from his Twitter Account . Heavy sigh.

9 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !

Kind of Makes Her A Sitting Duck

OK, here’s the thing animal activist living in Ohio (friggin home of Bearman), who wants a personalized license plate reading “H8HUNTERS.”  The Bureau of Motor Vehicles says no. Still persistent, the  animal lover is hopeful that her second license plate application for “HUNTNOT” will be approved.

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Ohio Home of Bearman, I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!