Say What? I Got No STD

Reporter takes down drunk videobomber with an awesomne own.

Zimbabwe is broke

Guess how much money Zimbabwe has left in the bank? Ok, you want a hint … Hmm, let see … How’s about $217 . Egads, that ain’t gonna go far.

Patient Not That Soft

A top erectile dysfunction doc has been shot dead by his patient.

Husband Fail

OK , here’s the thing mister. If you call 911 after accidentally running over your wife don’t be caught accidentally stomping on her head as the paramedics arrive. Just saying.

Just Saying

Stop Scratching Barbara Walters

Seems Barbara Walters has Chicken Pox. Run Whoopi, Elizabeth and Joy.

Psst Slow news day.

We Can Pee, But Just Not That Good

The president of the Family Research Council believes women shouldn’t be allowed in combat because they can’t pee outdoors. Oh for crying out loud, sure it may run down the leg a bit, but pooping ain’t a problem. Check out all the other awesome reasons ….

Want sauce with that?

Church vs Vultures

Holy roof eating birds from hell, Batman. The Bethlehem Baptist Church in North Carolina has a little prob. They have been over run with vultures. So much so they have commissioned someone to make a dead vulture effigy in an attempt to scare them off. The effigy is hanging upside down from the church’s steeple. Begone roof eating vultures.

North Koreans Are Really Hungry

Horrid rumors that North Koreans have been forced to eat their babies to survive horrific famines have been reported. It is feared up to 10,000 people have become victims of cannibalism. In other news Kim Jong Un has put on a few Christmas pounds.

The Loo Marks The Spot

Want to know where Governor Arthur Phillip , the dude that founded Sydney , first set foot in 1788 ? Ok , here’s a hint. Just plonk your butt on one of the temporary public toilets opposite the Overseas Passenger Terminal in The Rocks . Yep, seems the local powers that be forgot about the locations historical significance. Awkward.