Monthly Archives: February 2013

British Water Affecting Otters’ Penis Bones

What about the beavers???

What about the beavers???

Well British loons, it seems the weight of otters’ penis bones are decreasing. What the hell does that even mean? Experts are saying the reason for this is the chemicals found in British waterways. The male otters are also suffering from an increase in undescended testicles and cysts on sperm-carrying tubes. One doctor says this is an early warning sign to all mammals including humans. Dear god a decreasing penis bone is not what you want.

Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

The Lengths They Will Go

Sure, but can you wait here while I remove it?

Sure, but can you wait here while I remove it?

Seriously dude, is shoving 100 bags of heroin up your butt really worth it? A New Jersey gang member was found to be concealing the drugs after being arrested for outstanding traffic warrants. The heroin had a street value of only $1,000. I pity the fool who would have got one of those bags!!!!

Psst Why don’t they friggin duct tape it under the car…. sheez


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass

Don’t Try This At Home Kiddies

Boy rings 911 over his early bedtimeA 10 year old kid in Massachusetts got busted after he rang 911 to complain about his mom sending him to bed at 8pm despite not having school the following day. It all went down when his mother called his bluff after he told her he was going to ring the police. Damn straight she said “go ahead” and he did. Despite hanging up without saying a word the cops came a knocking and the boy not only got a big friggin lecture from them but was also grounded for two weeks. Sweet dreams.


Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

The Problem With Subletting

A little word of warning, when subletting a $4,000 a month New York apartment to some random who saw your ad in don’t be leaving your $140,000 grand piano there. See ya piano and everything else in the apartment worth something. Did I mention the phantom Korean also re – subletted the place and sold the piano to a Long Island piano company who now refuse to give it back because they have sold it to someone in San Francisco. Poor Dong-Hyek Lim, should have used Craigslist.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

Sticky Situation

Truck spills glue on a road in ScotlandA road in Scotland was closed for 12 hours after a truck carrying glue jackknifed and dropped its container. The mass of liquid glue engulfed the lorry and a car before flowing  up to the doorstep of a nearby house . Local road workers used grit to cover the glue. Hmm, glue and grit would make a nice friggin rock!!!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

3D Drawing Pen

OMG, I can draw like crap in 3D now. See ya etch-a-sketch. Christmas present problems solved.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Latin American Idol Winner Fail

The winner of  2009 “Latin American Idol” , Martha Heredia, has been busted for attempting to smuggle 2.9lbs of heroin into New York in the heels of her platform shoes. Hmm, makes for a good country song.


Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

Evidently Painting Your Gates At Night Naked Is Wrong

Naked gate painter told to stopI get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of painting my gates in the dark , naked?

A 76 year old pensioner in Cumbria has had to plonk his name on a sex offenders register  after he got caught varnishing his back gates at night while naked. Yeah OK, he’s had 8 other convictions and admits he gets sexual gratification from being nude but he’s adamant that he doesn’t get turned on  from being seen by others. Now the poor guy isn’t allowed to appear in a public place naked or wearing less than one garment of clothing except unless he’s in need of a medical examination.


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Why An Alligator Is ALWAYS Happy To See You

Here’s a fact you may not know, evidently male alligators  have permanently erect penises . Ok, now don’t be looking next time you’re at a zoo, they are hidden inside their bodies silly. A permanently erect penis basically means there is no need for foreplay, they are ready for action 24/7.  Of course I have a vid of one in action but be warned it ain’t pretty.

Psst What the hell did that guy do to get it to come out… just curious ?


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Worst Music Video Clip EVER

I just stumbled across Jan Terri’s classic. I don’t even know who she is but this clip is infamous.

OK, I take it all back THIS is the worst music video clip EVER …


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, You Go Girl!