This not want you want. Awkward. Some tutorial sheez!!! OMG, is it wrong to laugh…like out loud….even if there isn’t anyone else around?
Monthly Archives: February 2013
Word of warning dear tourists, if you happened to be staying at a hotel where the water tastes “funny” you might want to spit it out NOW. A couple who spent 8 days at a hotel in LA were horrified to learn the reason why their water tasted strange was due to the fact that there was a three week old decomposing body in the rooftop water tank of the hotel. Yes siree they drank, showered and brushed their teeth in it. The couple told reporters “The moment we found out, we felt sick to the stomach, quite literally. We’re not well mentally. It’s the psychological stuff. If you think about it, it’s not good.”
Never sack a man who packs stress balls for a living or he’ll just punch you in the goddamn face. Yes indeedy, when the stress ball packer was told by a warehouse manager that he was losing his job he thanked him with a knuckle sandwich. He then produced two knives and threatened to cut up the staff. Now there’s a fly in your chardonnay.
Sit back and listen wannabe diamond thieves, this is how you do it. Find 7 buddies, dress them in some dark clothes that resemble police uniforms, get two black cars with blue lights on top, cut a car size hole in a security fence at Brussels’ international airport, drive onto the tarmac , point machine guns at pilots and security then proceed to remove the $50 million worth of diamonds that is in the hold of a Swiss-bound plane about to take off, then drive back through the hole in the fence. Ta-da.
The Dee Why Grand shopping mall in Sydney has just introduced a new policy for out-of-control snowflakes, be quiet or leave. Evidently there have been so many complaints about kids running amok they have been forced to introduce a crack down. The centre manager said “People deserve the quiet enjoyment of their cup of tea,”
Yeah right, like you thought I wouldn’t write about the 200 nudist who went on a special tour of the “naked ” exhibition at Vienna’s Leopold Museum…. sheez!!!! Let me just say EVERYTHING was well hung.