They Wouldn’t , Would They?

Geez, crickey, could Al Qaeda be behind the Eiffel Tower bomb scare ? Sacrebleu. 1,500 people had to make their way calmly to the exits after some dastardly person rang police warning that bombs had been placed around the landmark. Authorities are concerned it is the work of al Qaeda, who are a tad pissed at the French intervention in the African state of Mali . Hmm, me thinks it sounds more like le kiddies .  Hello, al Qaeda are a terrorist organisation they wouldn’t ring.

Oh No, He Has A Floppy Disk

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Kim Jong Un produces a floppy disk. Does anyone have Windows 3.0–Windows NT????

North Korea Declares a State of War

Oh for crying out loud Kim Jong Un you are making it very hard for the Loon to know what to wear with all your talk of kabooming the US and South Korea. Yeah, I know Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas are marked on your really big map but I would just like to know if you have any intentions of sending a rocket my way. I have a hard hat at the ready but I’m not sure whether to drain my jacuzzi or not. I have also purchased a North Korean phrase book , just in case . Oh and before I forget could you keep your chanting of ‘death to the U.S. imperialists’ down as the South Koreans are trying to sleep. Word on the street is Obama has Dennis Rodman at the ready for negotiation talks and the UN are frantically writing their strongly worded letter. In the meantime I will be sleeping with one eye open.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Being the only US Powerball jackpot winner …$338 million
Not being able to collect it because you owe $29,000 debt in child support…. priceless.

Want sauce with that?

 

Eyeballs Found In Trash Can

If you know of anyone missing two eyeballs, you may want to give the Kansas City police a ring. Seems they discovered a pair of them in a trash can at a Conoco gas station. They are currently awaiting test results to confirm if the eyeballs are human to determine if a crime has been committed. Oh come on there is probably a logical explanation 😯 .

Access Denied

Seriously? I was going about my daily beeswax searching for some outrageous stories to post when I  hit a link to this website. Imagine my surprise….. Australia? Abuse? Multiple groups? Spam? Hello rest of the world , we haven’t even got a decent broadband network, let alone access to large quantities of Viagra. Sheez, some people!

 

Enter Squirrels

What could possibly go wrong at an Easter egg hunt in Minneapolis? Hmm, how about a mob of candy lovin squirrels? Seems the furry little rodents decided to out run join the 100 snowflakes in looking for the eggs, sniffing out all the candy filled ones and ignoring the ones with toys . Hmm, sounds more like wombies dressed in squirrel’s clothing to me.