They Wouldn’t , Would They?

Geez, crickey, could Al Qaeda be behind the Eiffel Tower bomb scare ? Sacrebleu. 1,500 people had to make their way calmly to the exits after some dastardly person rang police warning that bombs had been placed around the landmark. Authorities are concerned it is the work of al Qaeda, who are a tad pissed at the French intervention in the African state of Mali . Hmm, me thinks it sounds more like le kiddies .  Hello, al Qaeda are a terrorist organisation they wouldn’t ring.

Oh No, He Has A Floppy Disk

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Kim Jong Un produces a floppy disk. Does anyone have Windows 3.0–Windows NT????

North Korea Declares a State of War

Oh for crying out loud Kim Jong Un you are making it very hard for the Loon to know what to wear with all your talk of kabooming the US and South Korea. Yeah, I know Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas are marked on your really big map but I would just like to know if you have any intentions of sending a rocket my way. I have a hard hat at the ready but I’m not sure whether to drain my jacuzzi or not. I have also purchased a North Korean phrase book , just in case . Oh and before I forget could you keep your chanting of ‘death to the U.S. imperialists’ down as the South Koreans are trying to sleep. Word on the street is Obama has Dennis Rodman at the ready for negotiation talks and the UN are frantically writing their strongly worded letter. In the meantime I will be sleeping with one eye open.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Being the only US Powerball jackpot winner …$338 million
Not being able to collect it because you owe $29,000 debt in child support…. priceless.

Want sauce with that?

 

Eyeballs Found In Trash Can

If you know of anyone missing two eyeballs, you may want to give the Kansas City police a ring. Seems they discovered a pair of them in a trash can at a Conoco gas station. They are currently awaiting test results to confirm if the eyeballs are human to determine if a crime has been committed. Oh come on there is probably a logical explanation 😯 .

Access Denied

Seriously? I was going about my daily beeswax searching for some outrageous stories to post when I  hit a link to this website. Imagine my surprise….. Australia? Abuse? Multiple groups? Spam? Hello rest of the world , we haven’t even got a decent broadband network, let alone access to large quantities of Viagra. Sheez, some people!

 

Enter Squirrels

What could possibly go wrong at an Easter egg hunt in Minneapolis? Hmm, how about a mob of candy lovin squirrels? Seems the furry little rodents decided to out run join the 100 snowflakes in looking for the eggs, sniffing out all the candy filled ones and ignoring the ones with toys . Hmm, sounds more like wombies dressed in squirrel’s clothing to me.

How To Get Groped By Channing Tatum

And that is why she is called Rebel.

Psst I was expecting him to pull out a packet of Tim Tams.

How Would You Like Your Spam?

Problem solved

Standby loons, you maybe getting a whole lotta spam. Despite the internet surviving the biggest cyber attack in history we may soon discover the inbox of dispair. An almighty war has broken out  between a spam-fighting group and hosting firm… and it’s getting ugly. Spamhaus, who are non profit group which helps block those pesky spam emails like Viagra and penis pumps decided to block the servers of a Dutch web host company called Cyberbunker because they suspected their servers we being used for malicious purposes. Cyberbunker, who will host just about anything short of child porn, went all WTF on them and are now suspected of using their “criminal gangs” contacts to attack Spamhaus. The attack has been on going for more than  a week and despite Spamhaus having to fight off 300 gb/s (gigabits per second) of spam they have so far managed to stay online. Unfortunately, the result is a slow down of the internet globally as many of the world’s largest  internet companies rely on Spamhaus to filter spam. If Spamhaus folds, god help us all.

Psst Hmm, frightening to think no one has the power to stop this. How are my Nigerian friends going to keep in contact. I need that damn $2 million inheritance .

Not So Significant

Oh dear, correct me if I’m wrong but this looks like a significant tree fail. Friggin Perth the home of the loon.