Carnival Game 1, Henry Gribbohm 0

Good grief, some dude in the US used his entire life savings on … wait for it… a carnival game. Yep, he lost the lot ($2,600) trying to win an Xbox Kinect  by throwing balls into a bucket but instead got himself an enormous stuffed yellow banana with dreadlocks for his troubles. Oh for crying out loud Henry Gribbohm when you lost the first $300 you should never have gone home to get $2,300 more.  And as for Xbox Kinect, you should give him a freeby for all the publicity the loser  Henry is receiving.

Jigsaws Can Be Such A Bitch

Sorry for laughing . Dave Evans had just submitted his 40,000 piece Queen’s Jubilee jigsaw puzzle to the Guinness World of Records for the world’s largest jigsaw when it suddenly fell. The puzzle , which took 200 hours to cut, was suppose to go on display at the Queen’s Sandringham Estate in Norfolk before the disaster struck. Now Dave is asking volunteers to help him put it back together real quick. The 19ft 6in by 8ft puzzle collapsed when a passerby asked Dave for directions while he was in the middle of adjusting the huge frame.

Cheetah Attacks President

Winning

Botswana’s president got a nasty surprise while visiting an army barracks last week. He got too close to a cheetah at feeding time and it friggin bit/scratched him in the face. Oh, I have no idea what the cheetah was doing at the barracks either, so don’t ask.

Best Way To Get Bowser Rash

Note to would-be petrol thieves, this is not how to do it.

Psst Queensland

Sibling Rivalry Problem Solved

Oi, oi, oi, a man in London has been arrested for killing his brother while at the funeral of their other brother. I know, crazy , right? Evidently, the brothers got into a heated argument during the funeral which lead to the younger one being stabbed to death. Sheez, the next funeral  is going to be awkward.

“Bomb” Will Get You In Trouble Every Time

A man was not allowed to board a plane from the US to Puerto Rico because he kept repeating the word “bomb”. Steady on loons, the man has Tourette Syndrome and when he gets nervous he sometimes says  things he’s trying to suppress, like all the Boston bombing mayhem. His friends had notified the airline and TSA about his condition prior but obviously they didn’t take it into consideration. Sheez , he could have sat next to me, I wouldn’t have cared , I’m more worried about the plane crashing.

So That’s Why The Dishes Were Piling Up

OK, we know times are tough but living for months with a corpse on the sofa in your trailer home is just plain wrong. The body of the elderly woman was found during the serving of an eviction notice. The man who lived with her was arrested for all the things he failed to do following her death from natural causes.

Snot Nice

A Saskatchewan uni professor claims that picking your nose and eating your own booger might just be healthy. Seems those pathogens floating around in the mucus might actually teach the immune system  a thing or two. Dude you got too much time on your hands…or snot. Oh and please don’t tell my mom, broccoli is bad enough!!!

Want sauce with that?

Are You Nuts?

In the continuing effort to maintain the Nanny State tradition, a British supermarket has removed Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts from their shelves because, wait for it ….. they don’t have a peanut content warning. Who’s a monkey’s nut now?

Psst Are people with nut allergies that foolish?

 

Baltimore Jail, A Family Affair

Sure, I can squeeze you in.

Tavon ‘Bulldog’ White got his thing happening down at the Baltimore jail. The dude, who happens to be an inmate, not only got four female prison guards pregnant he smooth talked at least 13 into helping him smuggle marijuana, prescription pills and mobile phones into the jail. Dawg damn is he good. His trick? He showered the female guards with expensive gifts. One even got herself a diamond ring. Unfortunately for old Bulldog White his little ruse is up and now he, and 25 others are facing charges.  Awkward for the four female guards who got five kids by him and the two who have “Tavon” tattoos…. just saying.

Psst That is one nasty family tree right there.