Assault With A Deadly Twig

No, not the twigs!!!!

Oh for crying out loud, a man has been fined for assaulting the landlord of a pub with a bundle of twigs. Yes, you heard me, twigs. The landlord said “It just happened so quickly. I thought it was a weapon coming up to my face. I think he had around 10 or 12 twigs.” That’s a 400 pound fine right there.

Psst UK

Want sauce with that?

Dog Gone

OMG. A woman who was  dog sitting a champion Samoyed named Justin is in big doodah after she not only refused to return the pooch, but also had it neutered. 😯 Hmm, move on, nothing to lick here.

Psst There goes the stud fees.

Some Mother Do Have Em

Darwin. Calling Darwin to the front desk please. Some Dunkerklumpen in  Britain got himself stuck in a traffic bollard for 2 hours. Mom must be proud.

Look. Up in the Sky. It’s …. Run

Two families in Ontario suspect passing airplanes have been dropping crap on their properties and by crap I mean poop. The families say that their cars and driveways where splattered with petrid smelling feces which could have only come from above….. from either a plane or a “pterodactyl”. Airport authorities say samples have been analysed and it definitely ain’t their shit.

Doink The Clown Died

Ex-WWE wrestling star Doink the Clown, hugely popular in the 90s, was found dead today in Texas. Doink was 55.

Bitchy Resting Face

OMG, I think I have one ….

Watch Out For The …….

You know what I hate? When you travel all the way to a Scottish island to see an extremely rare White-throated Needletail ( the world’s fastest flying bird) only to see it splattered by a wind turbine. I really friggin hate that. Bird watchers came from near and far ,after news quickly spread of the rare sighting (there’s been only  8  in the UK in the past 170 years) only to see it fly straight into the blade. Hmm, well I’m guessing,  that’s even rarer  to see.