Monthly Archives: June 2013

Ding Dong

Alas poor Julia. I knew her,  Kevin. A woman of infinite jest.  And like every great Shakespearean tragedy the antagonist gets it in the back just when they least expect it. Exit stage left.

Psst For those of you unaware, our Prime Minister , Julia Gillard, got ousted by the same man she stabbed in the back to get into the top position 3 years ago.

Too soon to joke?

Too soon to joke?

8 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Well I Never

Maybe Not Meet Me In St Louis, Louis

Sale of condoms banned in St LouisHands up who knew that since 1934 the sale of condoms have been banned in St. Louis? Hmm, me neither but it would explain the high rates of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancies….just saying. Anywho, the city is working on overturning the stupid law. As you were….

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

The Problem With Magic Mushrooms

Man rips off part of his penisOuch. A man from Ohio (home of friggin Bearman) is now licking his wounds (figuratively speaking) in hospital after he ripped off a piece of his penis while under the influence of magic mushrooms. No word on whether the severed part has been reattached but I guarantee he won’t be doing that again.

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Ohio Home of Bearman, That's Gotta Hurt

Australian Labor Party Woes

You know your political party is in trouble when one of your members (be it Independent) says if you can’t get your mess together I’ll be voting for the opposition. LOL Tony Windsor, LOL.

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, That's Gotta Hurt

Mystery Deepens Over Death of American journalist Michael Hastings

Mystery Deepens Over Death of journalist Michael HastingsWhen I first heard that American journalist Michael Hastings (33) had died in a car accident last week my eyebrow went up. I knew by the strange obituaries and the scant news reporting that something was up but I didn’t write about it because I didn’t have enough info (OK fine, yes, you got me, it was really because I’m scared of spooks). I went on Twitter and I searched the net to see if anyone else thought his death was suspicious too. There was only a sprinkle of like minds, so I thought I would leave it well alone. But now, fellow conspiracy theorists,  it seems his death in a fiery car crash is beyond suspicious. For those of you unfamiliar with his name, Hastings wrote an article in the Rolling Stones entitled the “The Runaway General” which basically lead to General Stanley A McChrystal’s embarrassing downfall. Evidently, just prior to his death he sent some disturbing emails to fellow colleagues telling them he was onto a “big story” but feared he was being investigated by the FBI and needed to “go off the radar” for awhile. Despite witnesses saying there was an explosion before his car hit a tree at high speed the LA police say there were no signs of foul play. Stay tuned Loons.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Should Have Sold The Bones Separately

Coffin sold with skeletal remainsOK, here’s the thing man from Iowa. When selling an “oak coffin on a stand” online, don’t be including no friggin skeletal remains . Just saying. Now you got the Iowa police all over you like a cheap suit. The dude who posted the ad said the coffin  belonged to the now defunct Independent Order of Odd Fellows organization and was told the bones were donated by a doctor in the 1880s. Hmm, let the medical examiner be the judge of that.

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

That’s How The Cookie Crumbles

Brits fined for playing bingo for biscuits in PortugalWord of warning to anyone planning to play bingo for biscuits while holidaying in Portugal. That’s illegal gambling right there. Portugal police swooped on a group of British ex pats and bundled them into three police vans because they were playing bingo for cookies at a bar. They were all fined over $1000 and the landlady received a 4 months suspended prison sentence. Oh wait, there’s more. The people in the bar , who were not participating in the game, also received a fine for “witnessing illegal gambling”.

Want crumbs with that?

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Penchant for Pot NOT a Disability

court says penchant for pot not a disabilityOh for crying out loud mister, you can not, and I repeat can not, use the excuse that your penchant for pot is a disability as a reason to be reinstated after you got fired from your Ottawa City job for buying marijuana while in your work car . The dude took Ottawa City to court claiming they were “obliged to accommodate him under the Ontario Human Rights Code because his penchant for pot qualified as a disability.” The court basically said yeah, NO. Hmm, his resume is going to suck now.

Psst The doctor assigned to assessed the guy said his claims of having a disability were based on “self-diagnoses”.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

It’s The Curse of the Pharaohs

You know what’s really spooky? When an ancient statue from an Egyptian mummy’s tomb inexpliciably spins around in its display case at night. The statue named Neb-Senu,that bears the inscription “bread, beer and beef “,  has been found facing the wrong way in its glass cabinet over the past few months so Manchester Museum curators set a time lapse camera to find out what the hell was going on. What they discovered will boo you.

Psst For the love of god put that friggin thing back in the Mummy’s tomb.

12 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary

Bad Timing For Newsreader Giggles

An Aussie newsreader got the fit of the giggles while reading tragic news stories after her co anchor made a joke just prior to her going on air . Awkward warning ….

3 Comments

Filed under Whoops!