Robber Day Care

You’re an armed robber who, along with four other men, decide to ransack a house. You tie up the occupants with rope and duct tape and are about to go to work  when a baby starts to cry. What do you do? Well, if you are Kojek Mista you get it some milk , feed the bub and then rock it gently it to sleep before continuing to rob the house. The group stole over $5000 worth of stuff but were later caught. They all face 10 years behind bars (oh, except for the one who was shot dead).

Proof Some Politicians Do Have Balls

Swedish politician Lars Ohly posted a photo of his new Liverpool Football Club leg tattoo on Instagram unaware his genitals were showing. Maybe Weiner and Ohly should compare notes.

Psst Sorry Loons, tried to find the unblocked image for you but to no avail.

Man Blamed For Dildo Extinction

Oh dear, A CNN anchor made a freudian slip when he stated that humans hunted the dildo into extinction. Hunted? I’d just wait until the battery was flat!!!!

 

Let This Be A Warning

If you had $100,000 would you “invest” it all on Beanie Babies ?  Good lord no. Well some family did and now they are bankrupt. The family were so obsessed they would even down Happy Meal after Happy Meal at McDonalds to get their hands on Teenie Beanies. The motivation was the belief that the dressed up bears would eventually be sought after by collectors and would fund their kid’s college tuition. LOL. Anywho, the dad made a doco a few years back about his fall from the high chair ….

An Armless Mistake

Oh for crying out loud, some cop gave a driver with no arms a fine for not wearing a seat belt. Of course he had an exemption but the cop told him ‘I treat everybody the same, and you people expect things different,’ . Ouch. Anywho the driver went to court and had his fine dismissed.

Bulletproof Plan

A teen in Greece shot himself in the foot to impress a girl. That’s no way to go through life son. The 16 year old told police he accidentally shot himself while trying to fend off a home intruder but later admitted it was all a set up to get a girl’s attention. Sheez, some girl!!!

 

Introducing The Leopard

Once a Weiner always a Weiner. Seems the chance of Anthony Weiner becoming New York mayor is slipping through his hands (no pun intended). The dude, who had to resign from Congress in spectacular form in 2011 when he admitted sexting to women on the net while his wife was pregnant, has held a press conference to advise voters that there’s more. Yep, he didn’t quite quit the sexting after his ousting. Awkward. His wife continues to stand by her hubby and he continues to run for mayor. Double awkward.

Dennis Farina Dies

Hollywood legend Dennis Farina has died from a blood clot in his lung. Farina appeared in films including “Get Shorty,” ”Saving Private Ryan” and “Midnight Run.” and also on TV including Det. Joe Fontana on “Law & Order.”

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

How can you find out if your boyfriend is a keeper? Hmm,  by having a naked sex romp outside your apartment and if you get your head stuck between the handrails of a staircase and he flees before emergency workers arrive, you probably need to go back to eHarmony.

Psst Russia

Half a Magician

Move over clowns were have a scarier act …