Monthly Archives: September 2013

Reasons Why Saudi Women Aren’t Allowed To Drive

Reasons Why Saudi Women Aren't Allowed To DriveIt all makes sense now. The reason why women in Saudi Arabia aren’t allowed to drive is because it’s a health risk. According to Sheikh Salah al-Luhaydan, woman who get behind a wheel could risk hurting their ovaries and pelvises. Don’t believe him? Well, he has some pretty damning physiological science and functional medicine report evidence to back up his claim. The study says that if women drive it automatically affects ovaries and rolls up the pelvis. Sheez, nothing worse than a rolled up pelvis. Two year ago another “scientific” report claimed if women were allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia it would lead to an increase in homosexuality , pornography , divorce and prostitution for both men and women. Well, they better stay at home then.

 

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Wrong Track

Train runs over lovers on a train trackA word of warning dear loons do not, and I repeat, do not, choose a railway line to make drunk passionate love. Yep, you guessed it, a Ukrainian couple decided to do more than toe the line and now one is dead an the other is missing his legs. The survivor told police they “wanted to feel a sense of thrill near a railway track,”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

There Is a Man In Iran With Only One Shoe

Protestor throws shoe at Iranian presidentWhen the Iranian president arrived home to Tehran following a trip to New York guess what he got for his troubles? A shoe thrown at him, that’s what.  Yep, evidently his little tongue wag with President Obama “Great Satan” over the phone  enraged some hardliners so someone hurdled a shoe. Careful guys thta could be a fatwa right there

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Filed under Well I Never

Problem Solved

Hooligan trouble in Sweden? No prob, the cops  just increase the speed of the esculators…see ya.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

What Keeps A Dictator Regular?

thumbs up 3Guess what Saddam Hussein’s favorite breakie cereal was?  No silly, not Fruit Loops or Crunchy Nut…..gun fire drum roll please …. it was Raisin Bran Crunch.

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Filed under Well I Never

Cancel Trip To San Diego The Marshmallow Fight Is Off

Out of my way, he's been shot by a MoonPie

Out of my way, he’s been shot by a MoonPie

Look away Fraz, Binky, Winky and Twink, San Diego city officials have cancelled the annual 4th of July marshmallow fight. OMG, NOOOOOOOO.  Oh and get this, their reasons are to a) prevent littering and b) prevent the use of harmful objects.Bwahahaha, since when has a marshmallow been deemed a harmful object, now running with the bulls, yes, but mallows, no. This is rich coming from a country that is allowed to carry concealed weapons. Hmm, unless they use marshmallow bullets…that could hurt? Bwahahaha  no it couldn’t. Anywho, local businesses have been told to quit selling marshmallows. It’s cruel I say, cruel. How about a Gummy Bear fight instead?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

God Shakes His Head

dunceOK, here’s the thing , when repeatedly stealing from your local church, don’t be selling the stuff at a garage sale in the same neighborhood. That is dumbass 101. Hmm, and to think god created them.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Biggest Choke In Sporting History Bro

Kiwis lose the Americas CupYou are leading 8 to 1 in one of the greatest sporting events in the world and you just have to win one more race ….. just one more … and you …. OMG, you guys choked . Not once but 8 times to lose the America’s Cup. That has to be one of the longest and most tragic chokes of all time. OK, more like excruciating. They just had to win one out of the 8 remaining races to take the most prized trophy in sailing. Just one bro, ONE. To add salt to the big gaping wound, the private plane, that had been waiting on the tarmac for a week to whisk the Kiwis home to victory celebrations, was still sitting there.

Psst I’m guessing there will be a massive discount on champers in NZ.

6 Comments

Filed under Whoops!

Damn Straight It’s An Emergency

Man rings 999 after finding cork bits in his wineHello, is that 999? Yeah well, I want to complain that there is bits of cork in my wine and the bar won’t refund my money.

Psst From a restaurant in Manchester.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Here Comes The BBBBBBride

Bride still marries after falling down stairsThere ain’t anything going to stop this 65 year old woman getting hitched, even falling down a flight of stairs. Yes sirree, after the bride tumbled down the stairs she dusted herself off , despite having a shattered elbow, and limped down the aisle where she was greeted with a chair and a rather horrified groom. After the vows she was taken to a medical center while everyone else enjoyed the reception.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!