What Is This Stain On My Chicken??????

Oh for the love of hygene. An illegal Bristol  meat processing plant owner dodged a jail sentence after it was discovered he was using undies to clean his makeshift butchery. Did I happen to mention he had no wash basins or knife sterilisers either? Evidently the shonky businessman was supplying around 60 businesses in the Bristol area with unhygenic chicken and meat. The dude got busted when a customer at a takeaway complained about a piece of wire found in his fried chicken and the health inspector traced it back to him. Inspectors discovered that he had been buying chicken from reputable suppliers, stripping it off the bone and dicing it, and then putting it back into the original supplier’s boxes which had the “health” mark stamped on it.

How to Scare A Ghost

A family in India left a dead body rotting in their house to ward off ghosts. Shame it didn’t ward off the neighbors, who , having put up with  the stench for months, finally reported them to authorities. When police searched the house they found the decomposing body of a women in an upstairs room. Seems the entire family suffers from severe psychological problems so when their father and brother died some bright spark told them it was probably a ghost that scared them to death and the only way to stop the ghost was to leave a body in the house. So as fate would have it, when their sister died they left her in the house for 10 months. Terrible smell but no ghost. Happy Halloween Loons

Most Painful Ride Home EVER

Dude where’s your penis? A man in China, who cut his penis off  because he thought he would never find love ,  forgot to bring it with him to the hospital when he had second thoughts. Awkward. What makes this story even worse was the mean docs at the hospital told him to get back on his bicycle and ride home to get it. By the time he returned they said it was too late to save it. Hmm, how accurate is the Daily Star reporting, just saying?

Want sauce with that?

No Woman , NO Drive

Holy fatima Alaa Wardi ….

Parents Dearest

The last thing a French mechanic  expected to see in the trunk of a car was a starving little kid. The child believed to be around 23 months old was found after a man dropped off his partner’s car  to be serviced. Father is denying any knowledge of the baby. Seems wifey had a little secret and didn’t tell anyone about the birth and instead used the trunk of the car as home for the bub. The child is suffering from malnutrition and mental problems. Both parents face 10 years jail. Their other three children have been taken into care.

Mother Sends Daughter to Siberia

Don’t worry honey, someone will come to your rescue

Holy punishment Batman. A misbehaving US teen was plonked on a plane to Siberia by her mother as punishment for being a shit at home. The girl, who was 15 at the time, was told she would spend three weeks living with her Russian father but she is still there 2 and a half years later. The girl who couldn’t speak Russian lived with  father who spoke no English for awhile but is currently living in a hotel, going to school and working 60 hours a week to avoid having to rely on her father who she discovered is no prince Charming. Meanwhile her mother seems to have washed her hands of the teen, who, if she turns 18 in Russia, may not be allowed to return to the US. Sheez, let this be a warning to all misbehaving teens …. tough love can be a bitch.

Want sauce with that?

Should Have Just Paid The Fine

Oh for crying out loud who pays  a lawyer $1,500 to contest a $100 parking ticket? Well, some dude from British Columbia did.  Evidently,the guy missed the six days window to challenge the “parking too close to a driveway” violation and got an additional fine. So he hired a lawyer to contest the 6 day window and won. Yippee, now you are out of pocket $1,400 just so you could make a point. Way to go.