Dead Man Walking Right Back To Jail

monkey 4Dude, faking your own death to avoid prison only works if you don’t get caught faking a prescription. Man, you were so friggin close to starting a new life in Australia, having obtaining a birth certificate from a dead child and holding out in Canada but you just had to stuff up. Travis Scott was going to the slammer for defrauding an insurance company for $11.5 million but before sentencing he faked his suicide by grinding up some of his teeth, removing pints of his own blood and pulling out clumps of his hair. He then gathered his bits , put them in a cap and then blasted them with a shotgun before leaving the cap in a canoe on a lake. The police were skeptical especially as the suicide note said he had weighed himself down in case he didn’t die from the blast. Dumbass. All his efforts has resulted in 12 years of wearing orange.

Psst Minnesota


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

2 responses to “Dead Man Walking Right Back To Jail

  1. Grinding up his teeth, draining his blood….Eek thank God they caught him, we have enough misfits here Loon. I’m curious though, the blood thing has me intrigued. Did he do it a pint at a time and freeze it till there was a few in storage to make it look good? I mean two pints missing and your not really good for much. Ok we can pull out the hair but the rest is just gross. I’m glad that Travis is strutting his stuff in the big house in Tangerine. So where’s the money, I mean he must have stashed some of that loot?

  2. $11.5 million for 12 years in jail plus a couple of teeth. Not bad.

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