Monthly Archives: January 2014

Worst Wedding Ever

asian girlA jealous lover has turned a Cambodian wedding into a friggin nighmare after he lobbed a grenade onto the dancefloor where the wedding party were happily dancing, killing 9 and wounding 30. Despite police suspecting the man was in love with the bride there have been no arrests made so far.

Psst Bride and groom survived with only slight flesh wounds

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Crime Does Not Pay

loser2A former French crime reporter has been , you guessed it, caught robbing a department store,  He even did the whole fake wig  and mustache thingy but the police were already on to him as he had robbed the place before.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Beiber Is The New Orange

Take a bow Beibs , you finally got the attention you were craving. If you haven’t heard, Justin Beiber was arrested yesterday for street racing while under the influence of a cocktail of alcohol and prescription drugs. He becomes the latest star to don the orange jumpsuit.

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome

Davos World Economic Forum

mickey mouseYou know what I hate? When actors such as Matt Damon and Goldie Hawn, singers such as Bono and Peter Gabriel, company CEOs such as Dow Chemical and Pepsi, each pay $70,000 to hobnob at a Swiss ski resort with world leaders to discuss a “world Agenda”. Up yours, you bunch of arrogant, egotistical and self serving champagne sipping group of wannabes. Collectively, your wealth could end poverty. The last thing I want are people who were born LUCKY enough to be able to hold a note, or remember a line, or mix chemicals or create a sugar laden drink telling me how the world should be run. Hmm and lets see 2500 of you x $70,000 = $175 million …. will that be going to a “collective  cause” of YOUR choice or will it just be lining someone’s pockets. Here’s a thought, why don’t you pop the cork back in your Dom Perignon, refuel your learjets and hold the conference in the middle a refugee camp. Take your pick , there are hundreds of them… just saying!

19 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Government Wants To Pull A Bunny Out Of Mandela’s Ear

Copyright AP

Copyright AP

The two white Afrikaner sculptors who created a 9m bronze statue of Nelson Mandela are in big doodah after it was discovered they had carved a little rabbit inside Mandela’s ear.The weenie bunny is depicted sitting on it’s haunches with one floppy ear.Seems the South African government who had no idea what the sculptor’s had done,  think a rabbit in Mandela’s ear is disrespectful and belittling. One official said it was like  “depicting U.S. President Barack Obama with a mouse in his nose.”

Want sauce with that?

11 Comments

Filed under Whoops!

Mayor’s Undies Stolen

naked-manAttention the good people of Belgium, be on the look out for a pair of undies  autographed by the Brussels’ mayor, they have been nicked  from the Museum of Underpants. There is no actual details about size or colour but they were described as “briefs”. If the undies aren’t found the owner will request the mayor sign another pair.

3 Comments

Filed under How Embarrassing, Well I Never

Captain & Tennille split

OMG….and I repeat OMG, the gurus of love, Captain & Tennille are divorcing. You can’t be friggin serious? Love is suppose to keep you together, whenever. Can someone pass me a tub of Ben and Jerry’s I don’t think I can handle this! Seems poor Captain was blindsided by Tennille’s decision claiming he hasn’t a clue what he’s done. Hmm, well she won’t be doing it one more time.

Psst Don’t tell their health insurer but the poor old Captain has Parkinson’s and it is rumored Tenille thinks he could get better coverage if they split.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Only A Flesh Wound

bullet 2Definition of awkward? The clumsy Indiana police chief who waltzed into a gun store and accidentally shot himself in the leg after it got caught in his clothing. Hmm, anyone else got an adjective to describe this calamity? Anyone?

6 Comments

Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Face Fail

Anyone recognize  this dude? Evidently, this is the best the Lamar County Sheriff’s Department  could come up with when creating a composite sketch of a knife weilding suspect involved in a  robbery. Good job boys. In their defence the department said it was “not a true depiction of the suspect, only a likeness”.

identity kit

 

 

OK. let me just say, it isn’t near so good as the Miami police’s sketch  of the bug eyed abductor of 2011.

bad-sketch

5 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Paying Road Tolls is for Losers

Sure, you want to avoid paying a road toll, who doesn’t, but seriously mister, driving across the frozen Yellow River instead of coughing up 30 cents is insane I say, insane! It took the cheapskate  10 minutes to cross the ice creaking river but he sure as hell succeeded. Suck it toll gate payers.

The river nearly ran through it!

The river nearly ran through it!

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious