See, I would do exercises if I could do it with a walrus. Ah, who am I kidding, I AM the walrus…. kookookachoo.
Monthly Archives: March 2014
Do It Yourself Pain Management
What do you do when doctors won’t fix your sore hand? Build yourself a backyard guillotine and chop it off that’s what. A British guy who had the most friggin intolerable nerve pain for 16 years decided to fix the problem by chopping his hand off after doctors failed to do it. Unfortunately the home made chopping device didn’t cut so cleanly and he had to hack the rest off with a knife. To guarantee the doctors wouldn’t stitch his hand back he built a bonfire and threw it in. After recovering in hospital he discovered, much to his torment, the pain was still there. Bummer. He is now threatening to chop the arm off at the elbow if they can’t find the cause. No Loons, he has been psychologically tested and he isn’t imagining the pain.
Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never
Is It Me?
Filed under Friggin Scary
Holy Olive Oil
If there ever was a law suit waiting to happen.An Auckland evangelical church is offering a cure all oil to its followers. The church claims the magical oil can cure schizoprenia, tumours, strokes and marriage problems (to name a few). What is the magic potion you ask? Hmm, it is none other than olive oil… but wait… the oil has been blessed at the sites of biblical miracles in Israel which makes it special.In their newslatter they say “The Holy Oil was chosen by God as an instrument of faith to heal the sick …If you have faith and use the oil in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, God will bless you,” Good luck with that.
Psst Do you cook with it or rub it on? Confused.
Filed under Well I Never
Public Art Fail
During one of my recent expeditions I stumbled across this mess. The only way you can view the sculpture is from this angle. Now either they put the electric pole up after it was erected or it was a friggin very bad choice of locations. The sound you hear is my palm hitting my forehead …. friggin Perth.
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World
You Dirty Rat
A friggin one metre rat has been caught in Sweden but not before it moved in and terrorized the hell out of a family. The damn thing tunnelled its way into the family’s home and then made a nest behind their dishwasher. The beast then proceeded to torment the family cat and dig through the water pipes. Enter an exterminator ,who, using an uber industrial trap, killed the bugger. According to experts this rat was a bub, compared to what is living in garbage around the country. Sleep with one eye open people.
Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife