Edgar Allan Poe is Nevermore

In 2010  I wrote a  post about the Poe Toaster, a mysterious person, who, for  60 years, had  visited Edgar Allan Poe’s grave on the 19th of January of every year to leave three roses and half a bottle of cognac next to it.  The reason I had written the post was because for the first time ever, the toaster was a no show. Since 1949 the figure dressed in black and wearing  a wide brimmed hat would appear from the shadows to pay their respects. The event became so popular among Poe admirers that crowds would gather in the wee hours to  catch a glimpse of the Poe Toaster .

Anywho, during my recent visit to the States, I discovered the cemetery was in Baltimore, right  smack bang in the center of town. Yes Loons, of course I went to pay my respects and guess what I found ?

Woohoo, someone had left a half bottle of Cognac.

Psst By the way, the cemetery was nothing like I imagined.  It didn’t have the “boo” factor I was expecting. It is in the middle of Baltimore’s CBD  and very small.

Does Nancy Grace Think Everyone Is Guilty?

Love her or hate her, Nancy Grace is hilarious . Check out the moment that Grace tells the father of a missing boy his child has been found alive in his basement. Priceless..

Here’s a Frightening Stat

I knew some one would number crunch!  Seems footballers have a greater chance of being bitten by World Cup star Luis Suarez than a great white.In other words  if you play football you have a 1-2000 chance of being on the recieving end of one of Suarez’s chompers.

The Power Of Virginity

Yeah, OK

Adokiye Kyrian, a Nigerian singer, has offered her virginity to Boko Haram in exchange for the 220 kidnapped school girls. Hmm, yeah, that should work. Lady, that militant is gonna think you’re a slut and cut you into tiny pieces…just saying. Oh but wait, isn’t that the same Adokiye who offered her virginity to any man who could buy a jet for her mom a few months ago? Sheez, what a bargaining chip she has !

Isn’t This Discrimination?

Oh for crying out loud, New York law makers are introducing a bill to make it illegal to take a selfie with a tiger. Yep, anyone in New York will be fined $500 for taking photos of themselves hugging, patting or so much as touching a tiger. But on the bright side you can still hug a bear or monkey. Seems the popular dating sites Tinder and OKCupid are to blame for this latest silly legislation as it has now become the trend to post tiger selfies. Oh dear,  aren’t they getting tigers mixed up with cougars? Cougar selfies are what you should be banning!!!

Want sauce with that?

But Look At The Carpet!!!

Some random naked drunk dude enters your home, turns your hot water sink sprayer on full blast, does a huge crap on your carpet then paints the walls with it and the police don’t arrest him. Now that would make you pissed! The family held him at gun point until the cops rocked up but they only cited him for two misdemeanors. Bummer.

Psst Iowa

You Don’t Listen To Taylor Swift?

but wait, there’s more …

 

Are You Sure She’s Dead?

Oh for heavens sake. Seems a few people in Italy have been spooked by a mummified child  whose eyes keep blinking during the course of the day. The little girl , Rosalia Lombardo, who died over 90 years ago was among  8,000 bodies preserved in catacombs beneath a convent in Palermo, Sicily.  The girl, who is currently on display in the catatombs, has scared the bejezzus out of several visitors who have seen her open her eyes. Curators say it is just a trick of light. Hello, it’s Italy so that’s a pilgrim right there.

Stick Figure Family Stickers Are On the Move

Bwahahaha America, they are coming and nothing can stop them. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Yep, get ready for the conga line of stick figures about to be unleashed on car windows everywhere. The My Stick Family stickers are about to hit cars all around the States. The Australian invention has already created quite the angst among car drivers. Who friggin cares how many kids you got…and don’t get me started on the conga line of pets. Family cars all over Australia have been displaying these stupid stickers.  The attraction to this ridiculous fad is , you can buy each stick figure sticker individually to make up your own unique family and then you have the fun task of plastering them along the back window of your car for everyone to see.

How To Get Out Of Going To The Dentist – Lesson 1

Your 12, you don’t want to go to the dentist. Yep, its time to fake your own kidnapping. Hell yeah. The kid was good, he had a full on description of his fake abductor but unfortunately the cops checked CCTV and the kid cracked. La idiot!

Psst Some French kid