Oh for goodness sakes Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, you megalomaniac you. What’s up with this whole friggin I am Caliph Ibrahim and “you must follow me” crap. Really? How is anyone going to be taking you seriously with a $6,500 Omega watch wrapped around your wrist? Sheez, just another fanatical despot that has a love of Western bling! Did I hear the words “hypocrite” muttered amongst your followers?