Monthly Archives: September 2014

Walking Three Abreast

Man a no show for holding up idiot signWhat some people will do to become famous/infamous. A woman has spent $20,000 to have a third breast surgically attached to her chest in the vain hope she will become a reality star. The 21 year old was rejected by 50 doctors before she found one that didn’t have a prob with ethics. Now she has hired a camera crew to follower her around to record her struggles of being a woman with three breasts. She is naming her show ….wait for it … Jasmine’s Jugs. Lord have mercy!

Want sauce with that?

 

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

World’s Strongest Medicated Pizza

Scientists create cannibis plant that doesn't get people stonedAs Australia struggles with the very thought of introducing medical marijuana to the ill, a pizza joint in LA is offering marijuana infused pizzas to their sick customers. The company, called Stoned Oven, will deliver to your door a delicious gourmet pizza laced with 250 mg of THC as long as you have a valid medical marijuana card . Well done guys.

Want sauce with that?

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome

What Happens When A Lawyer Learns Photoshop ?

Way to reinforce your reputation . A lawyer is facing suspension after she photoshopped herself mingling with Hollywood elite and then posting the fake photos on her website to attract clients.

photo shop

 

Psst  What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller.

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Mayo Shampoo

dropOK, it is one thing to have a bath in a public fountain but using mayonnaise to wash your hair while in a public fountain is disturbing. Horrific looking floaties no doubt!!!

Psst Oklahoma City

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross

Iron Balls

ambulanceA little word of warning to all men. If you are going to DIY 10 metal balls in your penis to improve your sex life make sure they don’t rust…just saying. Some Malaysian guy did it and all went well except for the fact his penis swelled for three days and he was exteme pain but then once everything had settled all was good . Fast forward a few months later and then kapow, he could no longer get an erection. Awks. When doctors removed the balls they discovered they were all rusted.

6 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt

Another Fine Mess

LaughYou gotta love Austrian ingenuity. When a police officer pulled over on the State highway to monitor traffic he set off a booby trap that covered him in manure. The officer tripped a fishing line attached to the bucket of poop that set off explosives that kaboomed him. The intended target was believed to be traffic cops who frequent the spot.  Shit happens.

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

Heads Will Roll

embarrassedThe first rule when murdering and dismembering your roommate is to make sure the head doesn’t fall out of the trash bag when removing the body because someone might just see it. Just saying. The Memphis witness told police “When it fell, it was a head. I was like man what the hell, what you got going on bro?”

Want sauce with that?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Meatball Pizza

vomitNote to self, never , ever order a pizza close to closing time in Texas. A disgruntled employee at a Papa Murphy’s restaurant allegedly rubbed his testicles over a customer’s family sized Canadian bacon, pineapple, extra cheese pizza because he was peeved that the customer ordered too close to closing time . Urgh, hate to think how the customer found out….

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Weasel Poo Beer

Man a no show for holding up idiot signDanish beer makers Mikkeller have released the Beer Geek Brunch Weasel that includes civet coffee beans. Yep, that would be the beans collected from the poop of a civet cat. The clever little civets only eat the best of the best coffee berries and then their digestive system works it little magic (thanks to their enzymes) to produce a stronger flavoured bean. Bottoms up.

1 Comment

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Bin Laden With Explosives

If you are wondering why all the rubbish bins have been welded shut at Brisbane railway stations its because of terrorist fears. Seems the metal bins are ideal to hide explosives that can be detonated remotely. This is what happens when you put the country on high alert…. a binless society.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World